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From His Cold Dead Hands: When Should Grandpa Give Up His Guns?


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I just went through this with an elderly aunt that had signs of dementia. I ask my father if he got the guns out of the house; he said he did. It’s not about rights it’s about responsibility. Of course gun rights pales in comparison to all the other issues families have to deal with in these situations.
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Guest tangojuliet

as my grampa told me " ill let ya have when im gone from this old world"  i hope that day is pretty damn far down the line 

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as my grampa told me " ill let ya have when im gone from this old world"  i hope that day is pretty damn far down the line 

 

That's all fine and well as long as grampa's mind is solid. What happens when he gets confused a lot? Doesn't recognize close family members? Thinks walking 2 miles in January in his underwear to the corner store that burned down in 1971 is a good idea?

 

I agree with DaveTN on this one (did I just say that?).

 

I think it's a family issue, not one for doctors to decide. I think doctors should have the conversation with the family and advise them, but ultimately it's not their call. Of course my logic falls apart when there isn't any family. I'm not sure what I think the best course of action is then.

Edited by monkeylizard
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From His Cold Dead Hands: When Should Grandpa Give Up His Guns?  I am not giving up my guns.  Period.

 

Neither am, I as long as I can be safe with them. What happens when I don't recognize my own spouse (brother, sister, child, nurse, etc.) and think she's an intruder? Dementia and Alzheimers take a terrible toll on a person. I like to think that I'll make the right choice in the early stages of those terrible diseases if I ever get them. I want someone (close friend or relative) still in their right mind to do what is necessary to protect my family from me if I'm no longer capable of doing that.

Edited by monkeylizard
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While i hope my mind remains solid until the day i day i realize that unfortunately this is not always the case.  It is an uncomfortable conversation to have with aging family members, but an important one to have.  I view this issue as less of a when and more of an if type of situation.  Many people will maintain their faculties all the way up to the moment that they die.  The ones who don't however have a high likely hood of causing the death or harm of themselves or others.  I see nothing wrong with a physician bringing up the topic for the family to make a decision.  In the absence of a family present to make those decisions, there are already avenues for a physician to go through if they view the patient as possessing a serious risk of harm to self or others.  

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its like driving, there comes a point when *for some people* their health and mental state do not mix with operation of dangerous equipment.   How to determine that point and make that decision... is tough.  Can't let the government do it for guns, as they are guntarded and do not understand the different types of firearms, safety rules, basic operation, etc well enough to have any valid input.  Family is an issue as well -- some will let gramps be even if the poor fellow does not know his own name anymore.   Some will take them from a perfectly fine person.  And anything in between.   The answer, just like the driver's license issue, is that there IS NO answer.  

 

I have no one to leave mine to, and if my niece & nephew do not shape up to my liking, I will give most of mine away to people that will appreciate them & pass them along, once I reach the point that I no longer shoot them.     Which hopefully will be a long way off.

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My parents' neighbor was forced to do a "psychiatric" counseling session when he moved into an assisted living facility. According to him a large part of the session were questions about if he had ever considered taking his own life and if so how would he do it. The man said he had never before contemplated such a thing.

 

The gentleman still maintained his residence and enjoyed coming home to sit on his porch or sunroom and mess with his tools, projects and CB radios out in the garage.

 

A few weeks later my dad came over to visit and found the gentleman in the garage with his car engine running. My dad was very concerned and they chatted about it for a while... and out came the details about never having considered it and all of the thought from that psych session coming up with the determination that the old leave the engine running in the garage was this man's preferred way to end it all.

 

Thanks to whatever mandatory psych counseling session he has now thought about ending his own life and seriously contemplated how to do it.

 

FYI, the gentleman is still doing ok in the assisted living facility. 

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This is a topic I've been considering for a while now; not for "grandpa" or an elderly parent because they are already gone...I've been thinking about it for myself.

 

I know from dealing with my mom who passed just over a year ago just how difficult it is to even take keys away from a parent who has no business driving, let alone taking their firearms (not that my mom had any).  We finally convinced my mom that she should no longer drive but where we had the most difficulty was with regards to her finances - she exhibited signs of dementia for several years but we had no legal way to stop her.  Her banks, etc. would not talk to us, of course, and when we went to court her doctor was absolutely unwilling to say that she was in any way incompetent to handle her own affairs (we assumed over fear of being sued but we'll never know).  Anyway, taking legal guardianship proved impossible so, over a period of 10 years or so, we watched as my mom fell victim to scam after scam squandering tens of thousands of dollars until she all she had left was her SS necessitating myself, my sister and my brother stepping in to take care of her both financially and, eventually, physically.  Of course by then, she was so ill that even she realized that she needed us to to that for her.

 

In the case of firearms and the elderly; tell me who most NEEDS the protection of a firearm if not those who are in their later years?  If two or three (or even one) thugs break into your home and you are in your 60s or 70s or 80s are you going to survive a physical confrontation with them?  I'd say likely not...the firearm, to borrow a phrase, is the great equalizer in those situations. Reality tells me that for personal protection, I need my firearm now, at nearly 60, more than I did when I was 30.

 

Anyway, dealing with these issues are, as was noted above, almost without an answer - you just do what you can do when it's right to do it.  I trust my much younger sister and brother to have that conversation with me when the time comes (assuming I don't check out before I get that bad).

Edited by RobertNashville
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