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I mentioned it, in passing previously. My mother passed. It was a stressed and estranged situation. There is at least one here I have discussed the relationship with in depth as he has experienced similar. I suppose what is bothering me more than anything is my lack of ability to grieve. I understand that the majority of humanity had parents that sought to protect and raise them, I was not a member of the majority. It has been several weeks, and I am not a vocal, or emotional person. I like the anonymity of the interwebs for that fact. Here I am who I am. Not who I pretend to be. In life I am a highly successful and put together cat. My wife has noticed a crack in the last few weeks. But she hasn't pressed the issue. I am good at what I do. I don't have many flaws. But I did not have the white picket fence my current self would lead others to believe. Even in my honesty. My mother died. I am the oldest of six. I was the only one there. I stepped up after failures and paid for and arranged everything. I have achieved my childhood dream of having my mother's body in my trunk. I don't know what do to after that fact beyond not doing something I will regret. I have written off the 'family farm.' I have written off my siblings. I would die before my heathen experienced the life that molded me. And that is possibly what grieves me the most. I am who I am for what I have experienced. I once wrote to Dear Prudence for advice, and she thankfully confirmed that what I have accomplished was me, no guilt. But I can't lie, I still feel guilt. I have a homeless sibling, two in jail/prison, a victim of the welfare system and a full blown alcoholic failure. Is it guilt I feel at being successful and accomplished? Think of the worst of the worst, and that was my life. My first suggestion for my mother's occupation on her death certificate was 'drug addict whore.' We settled on CNA after the realization that 'Homemaker' was just as much of an insult. After all, she did work as a CNA for a week or two. It is times like this that I wish that I could forget it all. I came up through the foster care system. Why do I care about the other life? Why does every bad decision in my life haunt me? Why does every good decision in my life bring into sharp contrast the bad decisions? I am not seeking sympathy. I am not seeking support. I don't know what I am seeking. I do know that I have to get this off my chest. I spent the weekend with my mother's last boyfriend, he would have been her fourth husband, but they never married. As such they lasted twenty years. He is a hell of man. My daughter calls him Papaw. He is proud my me. And I love him as my father. He knows this now. Of that I am proud. Of my heathen I am proud. Of my wife, I am proud. Of my house, cars, dogs, guns, and guitars I am proud.

Murgatroy, I am not good with words, but I hope words can help. First off, and most importantly to me, I'll be praying for you and your family. If it were not for prayer, and for God who just refused to abandon me, I don't believe I would be here. I had a "grandmother" on my mother's side who I believe was completely evil. My "grandfather" on my father's side, well I'm not even sure if he's still alive or not. The first of only two times I met him was the first time Dad had seen him in 25 years. I have no contact with my brother. His choice not mine. I do know that he lives in Idaho now. My Dad was locked away in his own world, a world of deep depression, most of the time I was growing up. Might have been what we call PTSD now. Dunno. Never really had much of a relationship with him for a long time. One day I decided to put an end to that. Didn't have anything to lose so I went for it and decided to forge a relationship with Dad out of the coals of nothing. It took a while, but it worked. I had also decided early on that my boys were NOT going to grow up like I did. They would never have to question whether or not their daddy loved them. There is a history of rejection and abandonment in this family. I chose to not let that generational curse continue. And it sounds like you are doing the same thing. The fact that you grew up in the foster system was not your choice. The fact that your mother chose not to have a relationship with you was not your choice. The fact that your siblings chose a bad life was not your choice. But you have made other, wiser choices. You have chosen to not allow your child to have to live under that curse. I don't know you. But others here apparently do, and I can tell by their words that you must be an upright man. We all have our flaws, but that is the case if we are still breathing air. But you did not become your past. You became your child's future. And for that I applaud you. There is no need to feel guilt for rising up from the quagmire that could have been your life, and just as importantly, your immediate family's life, and making the choice to walk in an upright and honorable way. There are different forms of grief, and I believe you are grieving now. You may soon grieve in a different way, or on a different level, but I don't know. Either way, try not to feel guilty for the way you think you ought to be grieving. Just let it come in it's own time. Your post has brought some things to the forefront for me, and I thank you for that. Reading all the responses here has helped me a great deal, for which I am also thankful. May the God of Heaven bless you and keep you. And if you do not know Him, I REALLY hope you get to know Him soon. For in that you will find an indescribable peace, and you will see a future and a hope.

FTFY. And yes, this is cool.

This is my mantra even though I've only shot one deer. My father-in-law explained to me that the better meat was on the smaller ones so I've always thought along those lines. Poachers suck. I think I've got some on my property. Hoping to catch them on the cameras and let the game warden get started. Nice bucks OP.

1859-1862 C. Sharps Pepperbox in .30 rimfire

Thanks for the honest introspection, but don't let it abase you in any way. Life is messy and complicated period, for you obviously especially so. Be proud you've risen above a morass that could have easily sucked you down into it for good. Peace out, OS

It's all fun and games till somebody walks through there barefoot

I think this can be a fun and informative thread thread if we keep it going. Basically, post a pic of what you cooked/prepared for yourself or your family...either a meal or a snack so good you have to share. That way, if someone likes what they see, they can ask for the recipe, or preparation tips. I'll kick things off with what I made for supper tonight: Grilled steak (charcoal, not gas)- marinated with Italian dressing for 8 hours, cooked somewhere between medium/medium well Honey gold potatoes- half cooked in a boiling pot, then sauteed to finish with olive oil, pressed garlic, butter, and cracked pepper Romaine salad with Mexican cheese blend Small/med amount of Italian dressing drizzled over everything

Maybe you can try this out after 14 hours of building when your kid's enthusiasm and your patience has long since worn off:

Not for me but building something that I have not done before so the new buyer has given me time to build this, I was right up front in that it would be my first and most of you guys can recall the first. He did have a choice he could have bought one of the mass produced Hecho En Mexico rigs, but, he decided that he was good with my doing it for him and at stated price.

Never done it before, but this year I actually limited out on bucks! The first (pics 3 & 4) is the heaviest deer I've ever killed. I butchered him & scaled 91½lb of cleaned, trimmed meat! The second (first 2 pics) is by far and away the best buck I've ever had a shot at. I had him under 30yds & around me for over 30 minutes (left my damn glasses in the truck...) before I figured out he was better than the average 6 point I thought he was! I'm hoping to get one more doe, just as meat insurance & to justify the new freezer I bought yesterday..... Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

Real nice deer . Congratulations .

If I buy something that needs a holster I usually come on here and look for handmade goods from the board. Bought some sharp pointy things too from TGO. Skilled bunch on this board.

Check the firing pin protrusion. That is the only thing that tends to need tweaking to squeeze the last bit of accuracy out of the gun. .035" is about perfect but no more than . 042". Most are typically over .050". Also, make sure to give the barrel a good scru then never clean it again until accuracy starts to fall off. Depending on the barrel it could take a few hundred rounds before it settles down and really starts shooting well. It will not shoot its best right off the bat. My best shooting Savage, with a factory barrel, shot ~3/4" after I gave it a good cleaning. At about the 600 round mark since the last cleaning it was shooting .3's at 100 yards using handloads. Make sure you can slide a dollar bill between the stock and barrel the majority of the way back. Check will the forearm is resting on the bag. If you are using a bipod be aware it can cause accuracy problems because of harmonics. I STRONGLY recommend using a good bag over a bipod.

All I can add is my prayers

I just reread your post. Your feeling like you can't grieve this woman is completely rational and normal. Doesn't seem like she deserves that from you. But, maybe what you're really feeling despondent over is the fact that you didn't have a relationship that a son should with his mom. That you can grieve - and feel justified in doing so. And, that's something you can do something about. You can make a list of the things that you would have liked to have had in that relationship - and you and your wife can ensure that your kid is not deprived of those. The sibling issue is tough. You want to have some kind of relationship - but feel like they'll try to drag you down to their level. That's really hard. I'll definitely keep you guys in my prayers.

Never let anyone make you feel guilt for your success. You and you alone earned it. You are proof your siblings could do the same were they so inclined. Were it easy, everyone would do it. You can't change the past, so don't dwell on it.

As a longtime Peter Weller fan...I agree. Lucian was a great character, and added a lot to the history and development of Walt. You'll see a bit more of him in Johnson's books though.

Well... it's not good engineering. You're right. It's possible that the big lever (box mag) could break the receiver. With that said, the complexity of operating a fighting shotgun is greatly simplified with a box magazine. Dealing with that tubular mag, and two types of ammo is what makes a fighting shotgun so complicated. Slug changeovers turn into tactical reloads with a box mag. I came away from the Magpul Shotgun videos with an opinion. A tricked out 870 will handle any fight that I may get into. But, if I was carrying a shotgun into a real fight, give me a Saiga 12. Hell with a modified bird gun.

Over gassed ensures they work every time. That bruise just means it's working [emoji38]

Mindhunter FTW Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

So much cooler than just blowing up GI Joe with an M-80

GOSH!!!!! no fair............all I got when I was a kid was Lincoln Logs to build things with.....

That's a much cooler version of my running them down the stairs when I was younger to watch the explosion.

As do some of us that are a bit more......local.

Once they invented TV we were done for anyway.

Ever since I was old enough to know the real meaning of Christmas I have always done what my parents asked of me. They always said to be sure and Keep CHRIST in Christmas and I have and I passed that down to my children and they are passing it down to theirs. That would be all I want for Christmas is for everyone to "Keep CHRIST in Christmas"

I'd like for the holiday to return to a celebration of the birth of our savior instead of the ridiculous sham it's become.

Actually you don't live longer, you're just awake more so it seems longer.

I have a valid TN handgun carry permit so I transport a loaded firearm every day in my vehicle. Long guns are an issue I agree. I miss hiking In the boonies with my 30-30 for self defense and security. In my home state of Arizona I could open carry a loaded longun anywhere, anytime and concealed carry a hangun without a permit anywhere except for schools and certain government buildings. I lived in rural northern Arizona in the middle of the Prescott national Forest at elevation of 6,500 ft. I'm very aware of the definition of a free state. TN is not as firearm friendly as I would like but has many other freedoms - like no state income tax - which makes it a much better place to live than many other states. I guess I was thinking of TN as compared to California, New York etc. But... Especially California, I only go there to visit my son and my grandkids. Last time I was there I actually had to cross Nancy Polosi Blvd with my grandson to get to a museum! Seriously , it made me do a double take and check my wallet! LOL lol Thanks

I'm waiting on the study that shows drinking large quantities of beer makes you live longer ...

http://dailycaller.com/2017/12/06/good-gal-with-a-gun-stops-wannabe-cop-killer-video/ A woman carrying a firearm shot a man who assaulted a police officer in Dawson County, Georgia, on Tuesday. According to Fox 5 Atlanta, 52-year-old Sgt. Randy Harkness gave a homeless man a ride to a local Chevron and planned to give him a little bit of money. However, the homeless man began physically assaulting Harkness and, according to the Dawson County Sheriff, may have even tried to reach for his gun. Luckily, a gun-toting woman sitting in her car at the Chevron witnessed the attack and got out of her car to shoot at the suspect. The sheriff’s office said she hit the homeless man at least once. “She shot off a round. The guy got off the police officer and she shot another round and he was running that way I think, there was three shots,” said Aseem Kahn, the owner of the gas station. The gunfire caused the homeless man to flee across the street to a McDonald’s, where he punched an elderly woman in the face and tried to steal her car. Several customers at the restaurant subdued the man and held him down until police arrived. Read more and see video.

We are not in the "free State" category, it is a crime to carry a loaded firearms off of one's personal property in TN without paying some sort of tax to do so. (and depending on who the liberal judge is, you may not have the ability to bear it on your own property, ask me how I know that one?) Oh, I know, you may transport a loaded firearm sans permit in a vehicle, but beware taking it out and using it.

When I was taught to run a shotgun, the paradigm was you’re either shooting it, moving with it, or feeding it. This doesn’t seem to materially affect any of those. I’m sure they’ll sell a bunch of them. But, I don’t see how this really does anything better than another shotgun.

To each their own. I'd rather be primitive and alive - and help my friends and family stay alive - than civilized and dead or watch my loved ones die. You can bet that most other people who survive the initial days will quickly let go of the illusion of social nicety. In the end, when the fetters of social norms come off, the stark reality is that might most often is right - or at least needn't be concerned with what others believe to be wrong.

Vintage George Lawrence holster for my Woodsman. Dumb ole me didn't realize the Colt is longer than the holster. Oh well, maybe one day I'll run across a pistol to fit it.

In all honesty Sam I trust a flash drive more than I trust Google these days with everythng going on with them. At least with a flash drive I have them in my possession and full control of them. I do have several hundred fishing pictures I am also going to save but getting Kaseys pictures save now is priority one with me.

Yea Dave, I am going with the thumb flash drives which I am only going to be saving about 125 pictures and the thumb drives I looked at say they will safely hold over 500 pictures each. Since I have the pictures scattered all therough my documents and pictures files. I spoke with my son in law and I am going to email all the pictures to him. He will put all of them in one folder on his computer and once he has all of them he is going to down load them onto 3 different Flash drives so they can be safely kept in 3 diferent locations plus he will have all of them on his computer along with me having them on mine. We both have fireproof gun safes which is where I will put my flashdrive.

If I want to be enslaved, I'll need to get my wife's permission.