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Rules For My Son


KahrMan

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Stolen from the internet but there is some good advice here...

 

RULES FOR MY SON

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.

6. Request the late check-out.

7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

10. Don’t fill up on bread.

11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.

16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

19. Never turn down a breath mint.

20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.

21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

25. Eat lunch with the new kid.

26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

28. See it on the big screen.

29. Give credit. Take the blame.

30. Write down your dreams.

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Truth on the sport coat.  

As a young man, buy a better suit than you can afford - there will come a time when it will serve you well.  

If nothing else, a girl might tell you jeans and a t-shirt are fine - but every girl likes a guy who can wear a suit well.  

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1 hour ago, MacGyver said:

Truth on the sport coat.  

As a young man, buy a better suit than you can afford - there will come a time when it will serve you well.  

If nothing else, a girl might tell you jeans and a t-shirt are fine - but every girl likes a guy who can wear a suit well.  

Fellas, I wear a sport coat or suit ( with no tie) daily.

It makes a difference.

I am well groomed, meaning I shave, everyday.

Best line from Mating Cruz's Polar Star, the follow up to Gorky Park, "a man who has shaved it ready to go anywhere."

When I sported facial hair, I trimmed and shaved daily.

My clothes fit and my shoes are polished.

Put a slob in a $500+ suit, he's still a slob.

Take a $150 off the rack suit with $40 of proper tailoring and the gentleman paying attention to the details, that guy can escort any lady on any red carpet.

Details also include holding the door, assisting entering / exiting an automobile, extending your arm when walking, rising from your seat when she leaves / returns to the table...I would suggest doing these things ALL the time, not just on special occasions.

Same rules applies when comparing the guys who wear khaki, jeans or coveralls to work.

I did not polish my work shoes when in the restaurant or tile business.

Edited by Gotthegoods
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Polishing shoes is a lost art... but it's worth taking the time to master.  

Along with the shoes - when you can afford it - buy a decent watch. It will serve you well and put the whole package together.

And, as a foreign service friend of mine would say - "when you stand up, button your damn jacket."

 

 

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18 minutes ago, MacGyver said:

Along with the shoes - when you can afford it - buy a decent watch. It will serve you well and put the whole package together.

There is a lot of truth to that, but the smart watches/fitbits are changing the landscape a little. 

I work with a lot of executives, and a watch is usually their litmus test. 

21 minutes ago, gregintenn said:

I guess I am a slob.:D

Seriously, If you judge folks by their appearance, you'll miss out on getting to know some fine folks. Most of the greatest men I've ever met sported overalls daily.

I agree to an extent.  You have to be yourself, but in business the superficial things do matter.  I have to wear a suit or sports coat most of the week, but I too sport my overalls whenever I can on the weekends.  I try not to judge, but always assume that others are judging me.  

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26 minutes ago, gregintenn said:

I guess I am a slob.:D

Seriously, If you judge folks by their appearance, you'll miss out on getting to know some fine folks. Most of the greatest men I've ever met sported overalls daily.

I don't disagree with the last part of this one bit.

All I would add is that a man ought to be able to clean up and put on a suit and tie when the occasion calls for it. It might be weddings and funerals. It might be a job interview. It might be trying to impress some young lady.  Whatever.  

I wear a suit a couple of times a month these days.  I'm in jeans most days - and am happy if my guys do the same.  Our rule is when you're with a client, you look the part.  That means a good suit.  Regardless, when I put one on my wife never fails to comment how good I look.

The other takeaway from that is if you need a shirt ironed in our house - I'm the one you need to see.

 

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I was given a piece of advice as a young man when an aspect of my job involved some things that could be particularly dangerous.  My mentor's advice to me was, 'always tie your shoes." What he meant was, before you go into this thing that could potentially kill you, take the time to make sure you have your junk together.

I kind of look at a suit the same way.  It's a process of getting ready to go do what I'm about to do.  Frankly, there aren't many people outside of my wife that I feel a particular need to impress these days.  But, I'm considered an expert in my field - and I'm expensive enough that you probably deserve to see me in a suit :)

It's different now that I'm in my forties, but as a younger man in the business world you're always being judged.  Early on in my career a company that I started got acquired by a security agency.  My team went to New York and I spent my first morning there getting fingerprinted about 300 times for all of the clearances, agencies, etc.  My new boss took me to lunch, and after lunch he handed me a business card of a tailor on Madison Avenue in midtown Manhattan.  I'll always remember his words to me.  He said, "we know you've got the skills for the part - we want to make sure you feel like you can look the part."  The tailor measured me for three suits and seven shirts.  They paid for them.  To that point in my life, they were hands down the nicest suits I'd ever seen - much less had.  The tailor then sent me for shoes.

Man, I loved those suits.

I've still got one of them to this day, and I occasionally break it out.  Just because. And because those jackets had some cool tricks up their sleeves, too.  Literally.

 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, gregintenn said:

I live in a very different world from you guys. Everyone in my circle is leery of a fella in a suit.

I get that.  There are many times these days when my first reaction is to put on a suit, but then I don't.  It's for the simple reason that if I walk in wearing a suit people are going to think someone's getting arrested.

The world is increasingly casual.

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59 minutes ago, gregintenn said:

I guess I am a slob.:D

Seriously, If you judge folks by their appearance, you'll miss out on getting to know some fine folks. Most of the greatest men I've ever met sported overalls daily.

My tobacco chewing, trucker hat wearing, bib overalls all day every day, and kick the snot out of you brogans with his 9th grade education is a fine man and multi millionaire.

He is neat and clean. He cares about his appearance.

That's one of the differences between a slob and a gentleman. The slob don't care.

Most importantly to my sisters and brothers in Christ, the book of James calls out the hypocrisy of judging men on their outward appearance.

I believe this includes skin, the natural clothing God used to cover the human form.

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Well, I guess I have played all of the rolls listed here. I have been in suit and tie jobs in my early years from coming back home but I felt out of place so went into something I knew. I became a professional Automotive Mechanic which later became Automotive Technician. I wore beard before coming home and have worn one since 1973 but kept it well groomed while I was at work in case I had to speak with a customer. I always wore a clean work company uniform to work. That was my day dress 5 to 6 days a week. My sons never saw me without a beard and neither did my 2nd wife before she passed. I have threatened to cut it off a few times but talked myself out of it.

Back between wives I did go out and party a little and dress up was Blue Jeans, Belt sometimes and suspenders sometimes depending on mood. Nice dress shirt and ball cap or Cowboy hat depending on which club I might be going to. Nice pair of Tony Lama Cowboy boots with silver toe tips and silver heel straps and always shined.

That has never stopped me from being a gentleman and my manners where always a part of me. I always open and close car doors and building doors for a lady and all my actions made sure she always knew she was a lady.

Today is a lot different for me. I'm clean and don't smell  and put clean clothes on every day but may not shave every day or groom my beard but do brush it. Kasey accepts me as I am and as far as I'm concerned that is who I am. I'm not interested in courting or trying to attract a lady because I am still deeply in Love with the lady I buried in 1997 and that won't change. My whole house is a Man and Mutt cave and nobody has to like it but us. Thats All Folks!!!!!

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All this talk of being a well-appointed man reminds me I need to spend some money and go clothes shopping.  None of my suits or blazers really fit anymore as I've expanded a bit.  

Business reasons aside, a man gets to a point in life where funerals become an increasing and inevitable probability.  I like to look respectable on such ocassions.

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8 minutes ago, Garufa said:

All this talk of being a well-appointed man reminds me I need to spend some money and go clothes shopping.  None of my suits or blazers really fit anymore as I've expanded a bit.  

Business reasons aside, a man gets to a point in life where funerals become an increasing and inevitable probability.  I like to look respectable on such ocassions.

Well I don't own a suit but I do still have Blue Jeans and dress shirts and the last three funerals I attended if I would have worn a suit I would have been way over dressed. Last one I went to I worn jeans and nice shirt and Sketchers shoes and there were many folks in shorts and dress shirts and jogging shoes because it was pretty hot outside. I think it is more the fact that people show up to give the family respect  of attending than how a person is dressed but that is............JMHO 

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3 hours ago, MacGyver said:

I get that.  There are many times these days when my first reaction is to put on a suit, but then I don't.  It's for the simple reason that if I walk in wearing a suit people are going to think someone's getting arrested.

The world is increasingly casual.

It's funny how a guy gets accustomed to dressing a certain way, and everything else feels odd. We are truly creatures of habit.

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Lots of truth and wisdom to both sides of this "coin."

I've had labor jobs, sales jobs, and  even was the "boss" for a few years.

In every situation, I dressed for what it required. And tried to at least start out neat, clean and appropriately groomed.

I think that last part is the most important. Be clean and dress appropriately. Also be courteous and listen instead of running your own mouth. Other people often have something important or smart to say, maybe even more important than what you are saying.

If you're talking all the time, you'll miss it.

 

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I told a guy one time that I don't even own a suit. His mouth flew open and jaw dropped and he said how you gonna be buried if you don't have a suit. I said ain't no sense in burning up a perfectly good suit and his mouth flew open again and he said Oh NO!!! you already know you going to hell and I just smiled and agreed. I figured going into cremetion who be to much for him to take in all at one time...........JMHO

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18 hours ago, MacGyver said:

 But, I'm considered an expert in my field - and I'm expensive enough that you probably deserve to see me in a suit :)

Honestly, in my professional and personal lives, finding the expert to do the job right is hard enough...people who try to impress me by how they dress are only setting themselves up for disappointment if I see they're more prepared with their attire than they are with their minds or the content of their work.

If you want to dress nice, cool.  I never think I'm paying for the clothes, only the quality of the product.

 

18 hours ago, MacGyver said:

The world is increasingly casual.

Would that it increases faster.  Mon-Thur, I wear some decent slacks with a casual to dressy button down shirt I always keep untucked.  I know it's not "professional" by the modern sense, but I honestly hate tucked shirts.  I always say if I can wear jeans and a polo on Friday, yet still be productive and of value to the company, why are Monday-Thursday different?

That said, I can begrudgingly realize when the time to play dress-up is at hand for visitors of a high enough status or out of office meetings/events of import.  I keep a black blazer on a good hanger under a plastic bag on the back of my office door, and I can tuck in my shirts, throw on the coat and be both dog and pony in a moments notice.  But it's a fraud on who I actually am, and I feel like I misrepresent myself when I do it all in the name of what really amounts to dick measuring through clothes.

 

1 hour ago, bersaguy said:

His mouth flew open and jaw dropped and he said how you gonna be buried if you don't have a suit. I said ain't no sense in burning up a perfectly good suit

Yup.  Hell, think of how much good it would do if even a fraction of those buried in their one and only suit instead donated them to an organization like Career Gear, so that someone poor can get a suit for a job interview that could be the ticket to raise them from poverty.

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I own one suit. Its nice and looks good on me. But if I'm wearing it, somebody  is either gettin' married or buried. 

Back to the original topic.....

The best piece of advice I ever got and have tried to pass on to my sons: Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up. 

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5 minutes ago, btq96r said:

Honestly, in my professional and personal lives, finding the expert to do the job right is hard enough...people who try to impress me by how they dress are only setting themselves up for disappointment if I see they're more prepared with their attire than they are with their minds or the content of their work.

If you want to dress nice, cool.  I never think I'm paying for the clothes, only the quality of the product.

 

Would that it increases faster.  Mon-Thur, I wear some decent slacks with a casual to dressy button down shirt I always keep untucked.  I know it's not "professional" by the modern sense, but I honestly hate tucked shirts.  I always say if I can wear jeans and a polo on Friday, yet still be productive and of value to the company, why are Monday-Thursday different?

That said, I can begrudgingly realize when the time to play dress-up is at hand for visitors of a high enough status or out of office meetings/events of import.  I keep a black blazer on a good hanger under a plastic bag on the back of my office door, and I can tuck in my shirts, throw on the coat and be both dog and pony in a moments notice.  But it's a fraud on who I actually am, and I feel like I misrepresent myself when I do it all in the name of what really amounts to dick measuring through clothes.

 

Yup.  Hell, think of how much good it would do if even a fraction of those buried in their one and only suit instead donated them to an organization like Career Gear, so that someone poor can get a suit for a job interview that could be the ticket to raise them from poverty.

Well I guess when I die all my blue jeans and dress shirts will be going to Disabled Veterans Store as stated in my last request sheet in my Will.............JMHO

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