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Part of my job as a dad


Alleycat72

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Is to check my youngest Daughter in the morning. I've done this since we got her. She has a medical condition and her time on earth is limited. Most people will never realize what it's like to know you child could die at any moment and it's 100% dependent on you and your Wife seeing the signs before it gets to the point of no return. Recently, she has started to exhibit conditions that would suggest her hart is failing. Her life expectancy is in her early 20s at the most. Anyway, I'm drinking heavily on a Thursday night and the only friend I can talk to about it is my best friend, who is  lieutenant colonel based in a F'ed up middle eastern country. The time zones don't exactly match up and I just can't take a speach from a guy I consider a hero tell me I compare in any way with the guys he serves with. We've almost lost her twice and l just pissed/hart broken. She's only 10 years old. One more person please tell me to ware a mask in public. I dare you. 

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alleycat72, my heart breaks for you and your family. My "opinion" you should get some good Christian counseling for yourself and family. There is comfort to be found there, even in a tragic situation, if you are open to it.

Get a Bible and read 2nd Samuel chapter 12. Pay close attention to what David said in verse 23 of chapter 12(I shall go to him). Also you can see how a father can overcome tragedy. Drinking is not the answer.  Said a prayer for you all this morning. Praying you all may find peace with your situation. 

One who puts his trust in God can/will find peace with death. I won't mislead you, doesn't mean this will be easy. The ones left behind has the hard part. Only thing I know to help you alleycat72.

Again, So sorry for your plight. I can get you a number, of a Christian to meet with you in Columbia,  only if you are interested. I will drive to Columbia and talk with you myself. I live in Murfreesboro and would be glad to talk to you. Send me a PM. I hope/pray I can get your response. Life is hard, sometimes. With God's peace one can bear it. 

Do not mean to be callous here. 

Edited by pop pop
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Alleycat, I sent a prayer up for your little girl and your family. I will second Pop Pop's suggestion. I can't imagine your stress level brother. I do know alcohol isn't a solution, it is only a crutch. I know I used to use it and it doesn't help. You can pm me and I will give you my phone number to call at any time. I won't preach to you I promise. It took a long time for me to realize we can't do this "job" on our own. I believe every man and woman needs a couple of REAL friends they can call on at any hour of the day and just listen or help us. Praying for you and your family. Mac

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Keeping your family in my thoughts.  I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be.

If you aren't already doing so, I would advise some counseling.  Whether from a church or a professional, it can help you.  Also, be careful with the drinking...all it may end up doing is amplifying your sorrow.

Keep being there for your daughter...I'm guessing you wouldn't trade away the time you've had already, no matter how hard it's been.  Continue to fight for and appreciate every day.

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Your frustrations, anger and pain are so obvious, please know you have another prayer warrior in your army.

By sharing, the strength you have shown during this extended season of suckiness is encouraging to me in my walk with Christ.

I hope this song give you a moment of peace and helps you recharge to be the best you can be for yourself, your family and your daughter.

https://youtu.be/59K8eLe6TWo

 

Edited by A.J. Holst
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I've been there.  I've buried two children under the age of three.  If you ever want to talk to someone who's gone through it and survived it, let me know.

Until then, you and your family will be in my prayers.  Doctors are well educated and often pretty smart, but God has the last word.

 

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Alleycat, I will not profess to be the best Christian. But will say that I believe in the power of prayer and power of prayers given on one’s behalf. I have not lost a daughter, but I have a daughter and I know how important they are. I would be lost if she were gone. 

there is a longer story here but this is not the time. The short story is I had recurrent Hodgkins Lymphoma many years ago and was in the hospital about a month for a stem cell transplant. my pastor, as well as strangers would stop by and ask if I wanted a prayer. It helped. It helped just to have someone else carry the weight I was feeling, even if it was for a few minutes.  It also helped to know friends and strangers we’re praying for me and my wife. 

So, a prayer from me to you and your family that you may have some peace, that you may have some comfort, and that you get to have as much time with your daughter as possible. 

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9 hours ago, Snaveba said:

Alleycat, I will not profess to be the best Christian. But will say that I believe in the power of prayer and power of prayers given on one’s behalf. I have not lost a daughter, but I have a daughter and I know how important they are. I would be lost if she were gone. 

there is a longer story here but this is not the time. The short story is I had recurrent Hodgkins Lymphoma many years ago and was in the hospital about a month for a stem cell transplant. my pastor, as well as strangers would stop by and ask if I wanted a prayer. It helped. It helped just to have someone else carry the weight I was feeling, even if it was for a few minutes.  It also helped to know friends and strangers we’re praying for me and my wife. 

So, a prayer from me to you and your family that you may have some peace, that you may have some comfort, and that you get to have as much time with your daughter as possible. 

Very similar situation for me. 10 years survivor now. But Prayer is an important and powerful healing aid. Our own and from others.

I don't believe I would be here doing this if not for the prayers of family, friends, and strangers that were told of me.

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They think it's a problem with her medication for her diabetes insipidus. Her adrenal insufficiency causes all kinds of issues. When she's at risk of adrenal crisis we have to take turns staying up with her. On a normal night we just get up every hour or so and check her. Before she goes into crisis, we "normally" have a few weeks when she's having odd issues that gives us a heads up. The result is an extreme change in multiple things like blood sugar, sodium, iron, magnesium among others. In one instance all of her hair fell out in less than a week.  We were told nothing was wrong with her from one doctor. A second doctor told us she had leukemia. A low level lab tech that couldn't sleep at night figured it out. We know we're not going to catch it one time and we're going to lose her, but we knew this going in. She was never supposed to walk, talk, eat real food, have any kind of vision, or live this long. It took me 8 months to get her eating baby food. 5 months to crawl. 1 year to walk. 2 years at potty training. Her bio mother was keeping her and one of her brothers locked in a closet. She was literally a blind feral child when we got her. We can't control a hart problem, but after working with her medication, she hasn't shown any issues in two days. I hope they are correct. I usually stay put together when it comes to her, but once or twice a year I have "a night". I know I shouldn't have put this out there for you guys, but I did.  Lately I've had zero tolerance for anyone's BS and two things have been going through my mind. One was that someone told me this was my fault because I didn't pay and I was getting pushed because of it. I did not hurt the guy and I regret that. Just being honest. The other was something her bio dad said to me. We met him in court. He was in shackles, handcuffs, and a tether between them. They had him in a wheelchair and he was tied to it with a chain. An officer told me to just look in his direction and the the meeting was over. Two police officers had their hands on either sholder and one officer was between him and us with his hand on his sidearm the entire time. He had already been sentenced to 28 years in prison. He begged me to not tell the kids what he had done. He told me how much he loved the kids and I believe him. He thanked us several times for adopting his children. He also asked that we tell him when my little girl dies. He's a huge POS an yet he's the only one in their "before life" that gave a ####. 

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