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"How To" hunt Public Land


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Alot of questions are coming up lately about hunting "Public Land". Well, here's how.....well sorta.....

Based on Hunter success, I would like to offer the following advice on public land hunting. This is based solely on my experience and apparently has brought the great masses of hunters great success.

1. When entering the WMA, do so with your "High Beams" on, so as to alert other hunters of your presence. Those standing at their vehicles will appreciate the "Extra Bright Light" in readying their gear.

2. Quickly move out of the way, spinning your tires and slinging gravel all over everyone. Gravel dust really does make a good cover scent. Especially if you're hunting in a rock quarry or parking lot.

3. Park right beside the first vehicle you come to. After blinding the above hunters, strike up a conversation (between streams of tobacco juice)...."you fellers done any good?" Expect the following answer...."well it's only four thirty in the morning.....hell, we had three of on the ground by two thirty this morning......"just heading back in for a day light hunt now"....."have you done any good?" (while spitting out juice)....I almost hit one up yonder....standing in someone's yard. I might go back and kill it later"......

4. Out of politeness, always "ask" the other hunters "where you fellers going to be set up at". This is very important....as you want to know exactly where to go "bee-bopping" through the woods at. You do not want to go in the woods where no one else is. After all, they spent all the time and money finding the deer for you. Just move right own in and sit down.

5. Once you "locate" another hunter, set up withing 40 yards. Don't forget to pee, take a dump and spit out tobacco juice. It really does attract deer. Other hunters are real easy to spot in daylight and darkness alike. In the dark, look for a flash light. During daylight, look for BRIGHT ORANGE....that might give you a clue as to a hunters location. GO TO IT AND TAKE A SEAT.....hell it's only a 40 acre tract....PLENTY OF ROOM!!!

6. Make sure your cell phone's ringer is turned up really loud. You want to alert all the hunters in the area that your girl friend is calling to tell you that your inbred 2nd cousin is pregnant. Speaker phones work well for this.

7. Do not bring more than 4 Budwiesers with you. Four cans don't make a neat piramid on the ground. Actualy 3 work well.

8. As soon as you hear another hunter shoot (remember, this is public land, the if it's brown it's down kind of thingie) get to that location as fast as you can. When you get within sight of the other hunter, announce your arrival by yelling as loud as you can (and in your best southern bubba voice)...Did ye git one???? The other hunter will surely appreciate your blood trailing skills....he doesn't really want to let the deer have time to expire before taking up the trail.

9. Upon leaving your public land hunting spot always remember to talk as loud as you can, slam doors, trunks and tailgates. This is also a good oportunity to clean all the trash , beer cans and "doobie" butts from your vehicle. Take your empty "bud" carton and hang it on a nearby bush (orange vests in the trees and woods in the backround are ok). Back off a few feet blast away! Public land is a really good place to "sight in" your rifle
AFTER
you hunt. If you are having scope issues, other nice hunters in the woods will most likely offer you some advide.

10. If you get a deer, there is no reason to tag it. You don't need to. After all, you only live in the "next holler" over. Field dressing right in the parking area is readily accepted. Other hunters truly enjoy stepping in your racid "gut shot" gut pile.

11. If you shoot a buck, be sure to hang his furry white sack on your truck antena. Looks manly as you drive down the road.

12. Most important of all...BE ALL YOU CAN BE.....YOU ARE THE "ONLY" ONE IN THE WOODS! DO NOT BE COURTEOUS TO
NO ONE
after all IT"S YOUR HUNTING SPOT!!!!!!!!!!

I hope everyone had a good laugh at my experiences hunting "public" land. Part 2 coming soon!

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WD-40, that cracked me up! The vivid images that popped into my mind, from your descriptive writing, really brought "Bubba" and the crowd to life! I haven't been deer hunting this year... because I'm afraid of getting shot by one of Bubba's gang! I'm dying to go hunting... but don't want to die hunting, if you get my drift. Can't wait for Part 2, and definitely will go see the video!

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These rules are only slightly different from those observed by many folks I encounter trout fishing around the Tellico River. To be truthful, having seen how some of those folks behave (and having it confirmed that folks hunting public land behave the same way) I am glad I have never hunted public land and doubt I ever will. I may never get to take a deer on the very small (only 11 acres) amount of family-owned land I can hunt on but at least I won't have to deal with the above issues.

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That cracked me up. A friend told me once he was hunting on public once and while he was hunting a guy comes strolling through the woods. He said I waved to let him know I was there and he waved back. Then he just comes up and asks if I've seen anything. He said I told him no, not yet and the guy sets down there beside him. He said I was just staring at him and wondering what the h--- this guy is doing here. I finally said, do you have a spot to hunt and he says no, I don't. Then I said well, this is my spot that I've scouted out and found some rubs and good trails. Then guy says , oh, I see and wanders off.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Speaking of hunting "public" land... I shot my first turkey with a handgun yesterday!!!

(Scared the holy crap outta' the folks in the frozen food section at Walmart, but hey, when the opportunity presents itself...) :)

LOL....And Bubba didn't run back there to see what ya got?

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  • 1 month later...

Speaking of hunting "public" land... I shot my first turkey with a handgun yesterday!!!

(Scared the holy crap outta' the folks in the frozen food section at Walmart, but hey, when the opportunity presents itself...) biggrin.png

LOL, as Bubba runs back from the processed meat isle claiming he's already field dressed it.

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