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Fiancé Caliber Wars


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A long long time ago, before we were dating, I overheard

my Fiancé stating "Never will I hold a gun", implying that the guns themselves are evil.

Just the other day, she told her mother "I somewhat enjoy shooting". Things change;)

She fired one of our friend's Beretta .25's. She liked it because it was small and didn't cause discomfort. I have talked her into getting her CPL, and she wants one of those small guns.

I am between a rock and a hard place trying to become comfortable to the idea of such a small caliber. I would love to get her a revolver, .38. However, I would rather her get something she loved and would enjoy practicing with vs something she wouldn't. Should I go for one of those small Beretta's in .25 or .32? Or should I attempt to sway her a bit further into a higher caliber?

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Everybody should carry the most capable caliber they are comfortable carrying. If it's a .22 short, but she will actually carry it the. Go for it. My wife is hung up on .38 Spl so she carries 5 rounds of .38. I would rather she carried 10 rounds of .40, but she moved to a .38 from a .380, so we are making progress.

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My advise: Take her out with a .25 and shoot an old stop or caution sign with it - no, not one that the government hung up. :angel:

When she sees that it doesn't penetrate the sign, (it just dents it), ask her what she thinks it'll do on a person with clothes on. That persuaded me to get rid on mine many moons ago.

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Get her what she wants...after a while, she may well want something with a bit more power but be thankful she is at least willing to carry something! :)

These small caliber guns may not have the stopping power you would want here to have but at the same time, no one with any sense is going to want to get shot with any caliber. :)

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Slow steps. Remember she hated the idea of shooting before, so gently guide her. If she wants the 25, go with it. In time, if she sticks with it, she'll graduate to calibers worth carrying. The worst thing you can do is try to force a woman to do ANYTHING.

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Guest Kamikaze

Mine started with a Walter P22 and now she carries a Glock 33 .357sig. Get her a nice shooting .22lr and let her get used to shooting. The 3 baby glocks are the perfect balance of fire power and carry ability (minus the 27, .40 kicks way harder than the .357 sig and has weaker ballistics).

Anyway my vote is for a small .22lr pistol and let her work her way up. Besides, .22lr is a way better projectile than a 25.

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Guest Kamikaze

Saying one is better than the other is a wash. I really comes down to the ammo you chose. The .25 has the edge on reliability due to it being a center fire cartridge. With that said if you buy good .22lr ammo that shouldn't be a problem.

With a cartridge as small as these the most important thing is shot placement. I don't know if you have priced .25 but I know it's no where near as cheap as .22lr. I can spend $20 on bulk .22 and me and my wife can shoot till we are blue in the face. .25 is closer in price to 9mm. When my wife carried a .22 her carry ammo was still only $8 per 100. I think .25 is around $16 for 50. Bulk .22 is around $16 for 550.

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My advise: Take her out with a .25 and shoot an old stop or caution sign with it - no, not one that the government hung up. :angel:

When she sees that it doesn't penetrate the sign, (it just dents it), ask her what she thinks it'll do on a person with clothes on. That persuaded me to get rid on mine many moons ago.

Plus one on what SWJewellTN said!

I'd definitely try to sway her away from carrying a .25. I would much rather carry a .22 lr or better yet, a .22 mag any day over a .25. They will penetrate much further. That being said, I'd still go for something a little bit bigger.....maybe a .32 or a .380 would work. The Taurus TCP or the KelTec P3AT or P32 or a Ruger LCP would all be good choices if she likes the tiny guns. If you live in East TN, Wild Will's Gun Shop in Morristown is having a Valentines Day sale on the Taurus TCP's....$175!!! Can't beat that with a stick!

On another note.....since you'd like to see her get a .38 revolver.....why don't you let her try a .38 loaded with some low recoil ammo? My 80 year old tiny and weak mother can shoot my airweight snubby with the low recoil Federal Nyclads loaded in it. There are several manufacturers that sell low recoil .38 ammo.

Good luck! Let us know what she ends up with! :)

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A long long time ago, before we were dating, I overheard

my Fiancé stating "Never will I hold a gun", implying that the guns themselves are evil.

Just the other day, she told her mother "I somewhat enjoy shooting". Things change;)

She fired one of our friend's Beretta .25's. She liked it because it was small and didn't cause discomfort. I have talked her into getting her CPL, and she wants one of those small guns.

I am between a rock and a hard place trying to become comfortable to the idea of such a small caliber. I would love to get her a revolver, .38. However, I would rather her get something she loved and would enjoy practicing with vs something she wouldn't. Should I go for one of those small Beretta's in .25 or .32? Or should I attempt to sway her a bit further into a higher caliber?

GIven that she has a history of being uncomfortable with guns, how would she fare if she did have to shoot someone anyway? Could she do it? Is she ready to begin to think about carrying a weapon with the intent to dispose of any and all attackers? Or is she just now at the point where punching a hole in a target is fun and interesting but not quite ready to consider the practical applications of a firearm? Only she can really answer that but if she is just at the paper punching stage, than a .22 is your best friend, followed by whatever she wants to shoot.

As for you being comfortable: lots and lots of dead people can't tell you that being shot by a .25 is no big deal. Same for a .22Lr. At this point I would bet (though I do not know her) that supporting her choices and growing her interest in guns is your best approach. In time, you can move her toward a more powerful caliber, but the last thing you want to do if she is just getting into it is push her too fast toward CCW type guns which tend to have high recoil, loud bangs, and are (often, but not always) less fun to shoot than a smaller caliber gun for various reasons.

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Guest nicemac

It is not the caliber that is important in comfort. My .38 J-Frame is a lot less comfortable to shoot than my Kimber .45 or my M&P 9mm. The .38 is way less powerful. Within reason, weight is your friend, recoil-wise.

Edited by nicemac
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Guest Kamikaze

GIven that she has a history of being uncomfortable with guns, how would she fare if she did have to shoot someone anyway? Could she do it? Is she ready to begin to think about carrying a weapon with the intent to dispose of any and all attackers? Or is she just now at the point where punching a hole in a target is fun and interesting but not quite ready to consider the practical applications of a firearm? Only she can really answer that but if she is just at the paper punching stage, than a .22 is your best friend, followed by whatever she wants to shoot.

As for you being comfortable: lots and lots of dead people can't tell you that being shot by a .25 is no big deal. Same for a .22Lr. At this point I would bet (though I do not know her) that supporting her choices and growing her interest in guns is your best approach. In time, you can move her toward a more powerful caliber, but the last thing you want to do if she is just getting into it is push her too fast toward CCW type guns which tend to have high recoil, loud bangs, and are (often, but not always) less fun to shoot than a smaller caliber gun for various reasons.

I agree. It took me almost two years for my wife to go from "guns are scary" to "I want a double tap to do it".

Edited by Kamikaze
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  • 3 weeks later...

One of the new Taurus .380 Revolvers might not be a bad idea. They are still small and comfortable to shoot and the .380 won't recoil as bad as the .38 spl. You will probably want to have some work done on the trigger, but it is the only thing in that niche ATM and for the money you won't feel as bad if she doesn't like it.

It sounds like she would be a little recoil sensitive and if that is the case stay away from the little .380's (LCP, P3AT, TCP, etc.) Those things are miserable to shoot for any time for someone who isn't recoil sensitive. ;)

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sig p238 has low recoil for its size, but the bersa, walther, and "huge" 380s are much better. The beretta (and cloned?) cheetah (??) series of 380s are some of the best for recoil. An auto soaks some recoil, a revolver puts most of it into your hands, so I would not go revolver unless you go big frame, medium caliber, say a 4+ inch steel 357 shooting 38s.

22 mag is a pretty nasty round, for the mouseguns. The 5.7 as well. makarovs shoot cheap ammo, if you are willing to buy it online in cases, they are like a 380, all steel, mild recoil.

Lots of other options too. but I wouldnt get anything more expensive to shoot than a 9mm, then let her blast away in bulk.

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Get her what she wants...after a while, she may well want something with a bit more power but be thankful she is at least willing to carry something! :)

These small caliber guns may not have the stopping power you would want here to have but at the same time, no one with any sense is going to want to get shot with any caliber. :)

The fact that I don't want to get poked in the eye with a stick doesn't make the stick a good SD weapon.

Edited by DaddyO
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