An explanation is due

[Guest WyattEarp]

I can't say I'm proud of my past, I can not change it, or undo it, but I'll address an issue that was in the opinion of many others last January, unresolved.

http://www.tngunowne...om/page__st__80

DId I send the email? Yes.

Did I threaten the man? No.

Did I break any laws? No.

Did I degrade and put down someone else because of their skin color? Yes.

Am I a racist? No. I lashed in a racist fashion, only because it was the weakest point. If people choose to view me as such, that's their decision and their right.

Did I try to reconcile and apologize to the Councilman? Yes. He refused. It is what it is.

I'm not going to call it a mistake, because mistakes are things you do without meaning to. Plain and simple, I lashed out in a way that would irritate the man and I shouldn't have. It was unacceptable, disgusting, rude, crude, and it was morally and ethically wrong of me. I didnt exercise good judgement, I didn't think before I spoke/emailed and I made a bad decision and it blew up in my face. Thats the way karma works, what goes around, comes around and I got mine.

Many of you decided you wanted to pile on me once you found out about my past, even though many of those same people were also complimenting me on my photography, my transparency of being honest about myself and my personal growth through my life experiences prior to finding out. Guess that comes with the territory, but I will challenge those of you who think or thought badly of me, for my past actions to look at the way I responded since my legal incursion, and look at what I've done to resolve my issues and become a better person for it. There are no excuses, I'm not making any. But there's a reason and an explanation for everything that happens to a person in life.

Honestly, if I had a time machine and was granted the chance to go back and stop myself from sending it, I wouldn't have and here's why. This experience, while humiliating, and humbling, served a good purpose for me. It brought me to a crossroad that I desperately needed to come to. For too long, I had taken life, people and the things that were important in my life for granted. I had treated people poorly, disrespected those who had tried to help and assist me, and my life was a giant cluster of a supernova. I had no direction, no focus, no goals. I was just going through motions with no destination in mind. I have nothing to be proud about in terms of this incident, but I have everything following the incident to be proud of in the way I responded afterwards, how I handled it, and through trial and tribulation I put aside my negative outlook on life, my "the world is out to get me" attitude, and I knocked off the chip off my shoulder and I started living the life I needed to live and want to live, and that's the life of a productive person, who is fun to be around and hang out with and debate with. Since all this happened, I've worked very hard and diligently to right the ship and stay on track and stay focused. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been a picnic, but it's made me a better person, a stronger person, and I've learned to stop and THINK about what I say, how it could be perceived or taken and what the consequences of those actions are. Life is still very good for me, on the right path, staying out of trouble, and taking care of business.

I've missed the good conversations on this forum, missed talking to the friends I had made, and in the other thread...you all made it clear you didn't give a damn unless I offered an explanation, and at the time, I didn't feel that was appropriate and I also didn't want to say the wrong thing and have something come back and bite me. So I took a recess. Now I'm addressing it, and after this thread, I'm moving on from it. I've acknowledge my wrong, took responsiblity, I went through the legal process and the court has disposed of the matter. I've worked hard to address the issues that led up to it and continue to do so because I don't ever want to be in that position again. Everyone screws up, does stupid things at one point in there life, and I'm sure each and everyone of you has something you've done you're not really proud of, maybe that others know about, maybe that others don't, that's your business, I'm not here to make comparisons. I've never once started trouble with anyone here since I became a member, never started trouble on this forum, and I'm not going to start now. I'd like to earn your respect back, it may take some time, but I'm ok with that. I'm not here to prove anything, show off, or swing my ego around. I share a common interest that you all do, and regardless of what you think of me, or how you feel about what I did, I've brought an intellectual perspective to many conversations on here.

So there you have it.

Edited August 22, 2012 by WyattEarp

[Oh Shoot]

I can't say I'm proud of my past, I can not change it, or undo it, but I'll address an issue that was in the opinion of many others last January, unresolved.

http://www.tngunowne...om/page__st__80

DId I send the email? Yes.

Did I threaten the man? No.

Did I break any laws? No.

Did I degrade and put down someone else because of their skin color? Yes.

Am I a racist? No. I lashed in a racist fashion, only because it was the weakest point. If people choose to view me as such, that's their decision and their right.

Did I try to reconcile and apologize to the Councilman? Yes. He refused. It is what it is.

I'm not going to call it a mistake, because mistakes are things you do without meaning to. Plain and simple, I lashed out in a way that would irritate the man and I shouldn't have. It was unacceptable, disgusting, rude, crude, and it was morally and ethically wrong of me. I didnt exercise good judgement, I didn't think before I spoke/emailed and I made a bad decision and it blew up in my face. Thats the way karma works, what goes around, comes around and I got mine.

Many of you decided you wanted to pile on me once you found out about my past, even though many of those same people were also complimenting me on my photography, my transparency of being honest about myself and my personal growth through my life experiences prior to finding out. Guess that comes with the territory, but I will challenge those of you who think or thought badly of me, for my past actions to look at the way I responded since my legal incursion, and look at what I've done to resolve my issues and become a better person for it. There are no excuses, I'm not making any. But there's a reason and an explanation for everything that happens to a person in life.

Honestly, if I had a time machine and was granted the chance to go back and stop myself from sending it, I wouldn't have and here's why. This experience, while humiliating, and humbling, served a good purpose for me. It brought me to a crossroad that I desperately needed to come to. For too long, I had taken life, people and the things that were important in my life for granted. I had treated people poorly, disrespected those who had tried to help and assist me, and my life was a giant cluster of a supernova. I had no direction, no focus, no goals. I was just going through motions with no destination in mind. I have nothing to be proud about in terms of this incident, but I have everything following the incident to be proud of in the way I responded afterwards, how I handled it, and through trial and tribulation I put aside my negative outlook on life, my "the world is out to get me" attitude, and I knocked off the chip off my shoulder and I started living the life I needed to live and want to live, and that's the life of a productive person, who is fun to be around and hang out with and debate with. Since all this happened, I've worked very hard and diligently to right the ship and stay on track and stay focused. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been a picnic, but it's made me a better person, a stronger person, and I've learned to stop and THINK about what I say, how it could be perceived or taken and what the consequences of those actions are. Life is still very good for me, on the right path, staying out of trouble, and taking care of business.

I've missed the good conversations on this forum, missed talking to the friends I had made, and in the other thread...you all made it clear you didn't give a damn unless I offered an explanation, and at the time, I didn't feel that was appropriate and I also didn't want to say the wrong thing and have something come back and bite me. So I took a recess. Now I'm addressing it, and after this thread, I'm moving on from it. I've acknowledge my wrong, took responsiblity, I went through the legal process and the court has disposed of the matter. I've worked hard to address the issues that led up to it and continue to do so because I don't ever want to be in that position again. Everyone screws up, does stupid things at one point in there life, and I'm sure each and everyone of you has something you've done you're not really proud of, maybe that others know about, maybe that others don't, that's your business, I'm not here to make comparisons. I've never once started trouble with anyone here since I became a member, never started trouble on this forum, and I'm not going to start now. I'd like to earn your respect back, it may take some time, but I'm ok with that. I'm not here to prove anything, show off, or swing my ego around. I share a common interest that you all do, and regardless of what you think of me, or how you feel about what I did, I've brought an intellectual perspective to many conversations on here.

So there you have it.

In case you change your mind about the post.

Welcome back, have missed the fireworks.

- OS

[Guest WyattEarp]

no need to change my mind. I can look at myself in the mirror and know I've taken the proper steps to be a better person. Humility is a fine lesson that we all must endure at times in our lives when we stray off the beaten path.

Thanks for the welcome back. It's good to be back.

[RichardR]

I like anchovies on my pizza, not everyone likes anchovies but I don't care, it doesn't bother me at all what pizza toppings folks like or dislike on their pizza's.

So long as those folks are not demanding that because they don't like anchovies, I shouldn't be allowed to like them either, nor would I ever feel compelled to tell anyone else that because I like anchovies that they also must like anchovies.

Wait, what? Oh yea I like cheese too.

[mikegideon]

We have all done stupid stuff in our lives. Stings, doesn't it? Sounds like you may have learned a thing or two. Welcome back, and try to stay off the TV

[piercedan]

Good on you. I know how it feels to be humbled. I've fortunately received a few lessons in humbleness over the last few years, and as painful as it was, have become a better person. More reserved, more contemplative, and more thankful. I don't know you and don't really have too much history with many people on here, but I'm happy to give a changed man a chance to show it. God help us if we were all permanently branded by our past mistakes.

[Guest WyattEarp]

We have all done stupid stuff in our lives. Stings, doesn't it? Sounds like you may have learned a thing or two. Welcome back, and try to stay off the TV

it stung when it first happened. The tv is pretty much filtered to sports, my favorite shows and movies. I gave up on the news along time ago. It's all biased, one-sided garbage. They only want to tell half the story and paint people as monsters. it's no longer about "NEWS" it's about smearing people, kicking then when they're down or supporting some sort of agenda. The clowns over at KnoxNews.com proved that when they ran my letter to the Editor because they intentionally left out half the relevant facts I sent along with it.

I've learned quite a bit mike, and continuing to learn is something we all do and should embrace. I once heard a wise man say "It's not a matter of what you did, it's how you responded to the aftermath that will define who you become".

Good on you. I know how it feels to be humbled. I've fortunately received a few lessons in humbleness over the last few years, and as painful as it was, have become a better person. More reserved, more contemplative, and more thankful. I don't know you and don't really have too much history with many people on here, but I'm happy to give a changed man a chance to show it. God help us if we were all permanently branded by our past mistakes.

I appreciate that piercedan. thank you.

[BigK]

I read the previous thread. All the while, I was wondering why you were still hanging out here.

After reading this, I understand. It took a big man to write what you just wrote.

I wonder how many folks would take their lumps instead of just never posting here again.

[D3vo]

Seems like this post should have been in New Member Introductions where everyone starts off with a clean slate. Welcome to the forum.

[zapfbroad]

Bigk, some people have a victim complex that has to be fed. Anyone can verbally affirm their reformation, child abusers & serial killers do it all the time. Society can only judge by actions perceived. And trust or respect shouldn't be expected as it may never be given. I've never met any truly reformed racists only those that continually surpress it so good luck with that. Frankly speaking all this waxing & waning over your transgressions, plight, persecution & subsequent reemergence from the ashes of despair like a phoenix aloft on the winds of enlightenment is a tad overwrought of really needing some significant validation. Perhaps you should get a pet & continue the therapy.

This isn't intended to be malicious in any way. I'm glad you feel better about yourself or whatever. And welcome back eh.

Can we talk about grain loads and concealed vs open, here on the gun forum?

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk 2

[Daniel]

This is the General Chat section. Those topics are for other sections.

[Guest WyattEarp]

Bigk, some people have a victim complex that has to be fed. Anyone can verbally affirm their reformation, child abusers & serial killers do it all the time. Society can only judge by actions perceived. And trust or respect shouldn't be expected as it may never be given. I've never met any truly reformed racists only those that continually surpress it so good luck with that. Frankly speaking all this waxing & waning over your transgressions, plight, persecution & subsequent reemergence from the ashes of despair like a phoenix aloft on the winds of enlightenment is a tad overwrought of really needing some significant validation. Perhaps you should get a pet & continue the therapy.

This isn't intended to be malicious in any way. I'm glad you feel better about yourself or whatever. And welcome back eh.

Can we talk about grain loads and concealed vs open, here on the gun forum?

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk 2

im all for talking grain loads and concealed vs oc! but it was "implied" that I would have to address this sooner or later, so might as well get it over with and move forward.

as for the rehabilitated racist statement...I'm just curious when I ask this, but does a person having one incident in which they make racist remarks, make them an actual racist?

I don't go around using those words in public, or at home, or even in the privacy of my car or in other discussions with friends or family members. I have friends that are black, I have friends that are hispanic and asian. This was a stupid one time transgression and one that I regret terribly because it made me look like an idiot, was humiliating and disappointing to not only me, but embarrassing to my family and friends. But I interact just fine with members of all minorities at school, at work, church and elsewhere. so what in your mind makes a "racist"?

I don't go to Aryan Brotherhood meetings, I don't donate to white supremacist groups, I don't associate with white supremacist groups, and I don't believe that I am superior over anyone else, or that one race is better than another. I do think there's members of society from all walks of life who are good quality people, and there are those that are trash, and it's without regard to their skin color, or their religious preferences, or their economical classes.

[zapfbroad]

The old adage is thoughts become words, words become deeds. Deeds in part define you. It's not magic to manifest from nothing, there has to be a basis, which begins in the thought process. The thought process illuminates the tenor of character being defined by thought. Which is what you articulate, which then becomes a deed, which then in part defines you. The development of racism is not wrought overnight but takes repeated reinforcement typically learned early. Redefining yourself from that baseline is a tantamount struggle. Thus I say again good luck.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk 2

[Guest WyattEarp]

The old adage is thoughts become words, words become deeds. Deeds in part define you. It's not magic to manifest from nothing, there has to be a basis, which begins in the thought process. The thought process illuminates the tenor of character being defined by thought. Which is what you articulate, which then becomes a deed, which then in part defines you. The development of racism is not wrought overnight but takes repeated reinforcement typically learned early. Redefining yourself from that baseline is a tantamount struggle. Thus I say again good luck.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk 2

thanks for your reply, it was a very well put together and articulated and not just a knee jerk reaction. I've never had any influences or reinforcement in that sense from anyone i ever hung out with or associated with growing up or in my family, so I'm not sure where exactly it manifested itself from, because I honestly don't feel that way, talk that way or convey myself that way. Never had any prior history of doing so, and haven't had any further occurences since. But at least your comment gives me something to reflect on.

[Lumber_Jack]

Well I'm glad you were able to make amends and return to TGO. If someone could rewind the audio tape of my life you'd find many racial slurs be thrown about in my past. It was a product of environment. And as you said its the low hanging fruit when you loose your cool. I'm not racist and feel very strongly that my wife and I will adopt a child of a different color someday.

Most of all I believe in change and forgiveness. I applaud your honesty. Remember forgiveness can e a process it take some longer than others. Time will be the judge of your sincerity, but I'll take you at your word.

Welcome back.

[DaveTN]

The First Amendment gives each and every one of us the right to say what we want, how we feel, express our views and opinions freely. Some of us convey it productively, some of us convey "inappropiately, immorally or unethically". But step aside from the emotions of the statements I made, step aside from the issue that I was white and he was black, and I made racist comments. and what did I really do? Racism is not illegal. Racism is not a crime. There was no threat written, implied and it was not accompanied with anything else. I was arrested because I called someone some names.

Are we as a nation prepapred to accept arresting people for mere words? For statements they make? Even though the statements might be distasteful, or unpopular? Is that satisfactory to you? If you had a teeenage son or daughter, and he or she went to school and told another student that they were Fat, and ugly and worthless and that they hated them, how would you respond if your kid was arrested and charged with a felony?

or what if your kid called someone gay, or a fag or a lesbian or a dyke, and they're arrested and charged with a hate crime? Just for words that they said with no implied threat of violence or anything.

This is a very dangerous and very slippery slope, and our government is testing the waters, and slowly but surely progressing forward and crossing barriers that our Bill of Rights and our Constitution were written to protect. The more they push, and the more the People allow them to get away with, the more they will take until they slowly erode all of our individual rights away, and we become nothing more than a nation of malcontents under the control of a Communist Government.

So who is a victim of the government? Are you talking about him or you?

Yes, people are arrested every day for mere words; it’s called assault. When you threaten people with violence, either expressed or implied, it is wrong. The fact that charges were dropped or you don’t think a person could be convicted in court doesn’t make it right.

[scoutfsu]

In addition to all your other shenanigans, aren't you the guy that was claiming .mil service???

[BigK]

Bigk, some people have a victim complex that has to be fed. Anyone can verbally affirm their reformation, child abusers & serial killers do it all the time. Society can only judge by actions perceived. And trust or respect shouldn't be expected as it may never be given. I've never met any truly reformed racists only those that continually surpress it so good luck with that. Frankly speaking all this waxing & waning over your transgressions, plight, persecution & subsequent reemergence from the ashes of despair like a phoenix aloft on the winds of enlightenment is a tad overwrought of really needing some significant validation. Perhaps you should get a pet & continue the therapy.

This isn't intended to be malicious in any way. I'm glad you feel better about yourself or whatever. And welcome back eh.

Can we talk about grain loads and concealed vs open, here on the gun forum?

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk 2

I, for one, live in a glass house. Yet, I've thrown a stone or 2 in my day. I noticed throughout all the name-calling and mud-slinging in the previous thread, he didn't reciprocate. I'm just saying...I would have.

[1pointofview]

what too many people fail to realize is it is the mass failures of our lives that bring about the biggest changes. I have no idea what transpired during this time but all I know is what was the lesson and what has the individual done to correct their actions and make amends? I lay awake at night sometimes thinking about some of the things I have done, then I get all this anxiety and then I realize I can do nothing about the past except learn from it and apply it to the future..

so don't sweat it, embrace it and be a better person because of it

[Guest WyattEarp]

In addition to all your other shenanigans, aren't you the guy that was claiming .mil service???

claiming military service? I enlisted in the US Army on Sept 10, 2001. I shipped out January 9, 2002, graduated boot camp at Ft. Jackson, SC in March of 2002. Unfortunately I shattered my left foot in several places in AIT. I was never deployed, and never stationed in a combat zone and have never claimed so either. I was in training to be an AH-64D Apache Longbow Electrical/Armament/Weapons systems technician. I spent 6 months in a walking cast before I was discharged and sent home. I have very high arches in both feet and during boot camp I got several stress fractures in my left foot, which were diagnosed as plantar fascitis initially. Since the issue wasn't caught or properly diagnosed in the early stages and treated accordingly, when I got to AIT it was evaluated and given the same diagnosis and I was given anti-inflammatorys and told to ice it twice a day. I was 3 months into my classes, when my foot caved in during training exercises and the cessaoid bone and the medial cuniform bone and the intermediary cuneiform bone were fractured. The podiatrist advised against surgery because the cessamoid bone is encased in multiple layers of ligaments and tendons and the surgery was risky with the possibiity of nerve damage and losing feeling in my foot, and the medial and intermedial cuneiform bones did not require surgery, but the cessamoid bone has been the recurrent problem and resulted in my discharge. Standing in one place longer than 5 minutes seems to cause the greatest aggravation, even with arch supports and foam padding, but walking doesn't seem to bother me much as long as I stay moving and keep the weight shifiting regularly.

[Guest WyattEarp]

I, for one, live in a glass house. Yet, I've thrown a stone or 2 in my day. I noticed throughout all the name-calling and mud-slinging in the previous thread, he didn't reciprocate. I'm just saying...I would have.

there's no need for name calling or mud-slinging, we're all human beings, we're all prone to mishaps, slip ups, screws ups, mistakes and just plain exercising bad judgement and not having our thinking cap on. Had I resorted to such, it would have just made me look childish and proven that I had learned absolutely nothing. I'm 32 years old, the time for such trivial retorts has done come and gone. I'm of the age of a man now, and it was just time to act like it and grow up. Growing up doesn't mean you can't have fun, and have a good attitude and laugh a little and learn not to take yourself so seriously, but taking unimportant nonsense like a race track too importantly to do what I did. In hindsight, the entire thing was dumb, and poor judgement and lack of self-control and the lack of the ability to filter my thoughts productively.

If anyone's overly concerned, I still continue my counseling at my own discretion, through all of this, I realized there was a whole lot of things from my teenage years I had never dealt with or given the proper attention, that were still sources of frustration and angst for me, that had gone on ignored for far too long. nothing major, or out of the ordninary, just things I had never talked about with someone or knew I needed to talk about with someone, and it makes a world a difference to get that weight off your shoulders and lose the chip on your shoulder. Life is too short to spend it mad about things you can't control, and it's too short to spend it being angry at people you don't even know, over stupid things, when that energy can be better put to use doing something positive. That's why I'm deeply involved in my photography work, and that's become a positive outlet for me. When I feel grouchy or become irritated, I grab the camera and I go for a drive or a walk and I forget about the other stuff, and lose myself in my passion and I come back relaxed.

[scoutfsu]

I was referring to Strickl's post

I though he would get flogged by members for his Amy service claim after he admitted he was only in training.

Was he talking about something else?

I probably would've chosen a picture from an inferior view to illustrate a sesamoid fracture. I'm not doubting your story but generally stress fractures occur in the metatarsals, specifically the 5th. A cuneiform stress fracture is more rare.

[Slpeod]

Welcome back. Good on you for making this post - it takes a strong man to come back in this fashion.

[Guest WyattEarp]

I was referring to Strickl's post

Was he talking about something else?

I probably would've chosen a picture from an inferior view to illustrate a sesamoid fracture. I'm not doubting your story but generally stress fractures occur in the metatarsals, specifically the 5th. A cuneiform stress fracture is more rare.

I'm not sure, i think in the heat of the conversation, it was probably just sarcastic comment, but I took no offense to it.

here's a better picture. not of mine, but similar from google.

along with a medical explanation

http://www.myfootshop.com/detail.asp?condition=sesamoid%20fracture

the cuneiform fractures only resulted because of the plantar fasciitis diagnosis, and the fact that it went on untreated for so long. Not the Army's fault, they see 1,000 recruits a week that come in for all kinds of things, they can't stop and x-ray every single person every time they have a sore foot, and in basic that's all it was, it was just tender mostly and some moderate throbbing, but nothing to indicate that anything was broken.

[UncleJak]

All men make mistakes. Real men take responsibility for them and make life changes to correct them. Good luck in your future endeavors.