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My mother left me an inheritance, it isnt guns, money or Gold


TankerHC

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Taking the long way around on this one. 

 

Thought I would tell Part II to the story of my mother passing a couple of days ago. My mom was broke. They had very little and very little expendable income. The problem wasn't that they didnt make money, but that of my 9 brothers and sisters, 2 of them turned out to be meth heads and at every turn my mother and stepfather would get ahead and the meth heads would put them right back in the poor house. On top of that she wanted to leave Texas, she hated Texas, I offered to help her leave, her brother offered to help her leave, but my stepfather didnt want to leave his job because he was concerned that he wouldnt be able to find another job at his age. Asked him last night what his plans were now, his plans, keep working. He is 69, my mom was 72. He told me, I have been working since before I joined the Army, if I stop now, Ill just die. Men my age do not stop working until they can no longer work or they are ready to die, I am not quite ready to die yet. The last few years my mom said she wished she could go on vacation, she had not been on a vacation in over 20 years. So I took her on two vacations. She wanted to see Tennessee, had never been here and wanted to know why I wanted to move here. She came here and didn't want to leave. The vacation was supposed to be about 10 days, ended up lasting a month, most of it right here in TN. After I brought her here, all I heard was "I want to move to Tennessee, that place is beautiful". She had me buy her a digital frame and put all the pictures on it we took in Tennessee and she showed everyone, over and over, where she wanted to live. If you have ever been (Or not) to Fall Creek Falls, the big staircase going down to the top of the falls, that has the end where you have to climb down the rocks. My mother could barely walk, I showed her what she could see from the hill and overlook but she decides, at 70, and barely able to walk at all (She had weeping legs) that she wanted to see what was down there. Refused my help, and walked and climbed all the way down, and back up. When she got down there, she just stayed there and looked at it for nearly two hours. She walked all over Tennessee! I couldn't get her to stop. I took her on a second vacation, she wanted to see Virginia and Maryland again before she died, so I took her, back to see her family, her old family farm and all the other places. But the bottom line was that, at every turn, life happened. Three times in 7 years she lost her home to Hurricanes. Every time they would have to come stay with me in MS because a Hurricane was coming through and twice when they went back their home was gone and once when they went back their home was gone and to this day the land they owned is a permanent Lake. After the last time they didn't rebuild, and lived in a small place which he will continue to live. 

 

I will say that my mother was very disappointed in how her life turned out in the end. She was not a jealous woman. Didn't believe in jealousy, no reason. But my mother comes from a very prominent family of Professionals and landowners. They all have large homes that cost 100's of thousands up to several million (Homes you can get here for a couple of hundred thousand, or less), but there is a lot of old homes, property and money in her family, But she did not reach those levels because when she was getting ready to graduate high school and head off to College, her dad committed suicide, my grandmother had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital and someone had to go to work, so she and her sister both took the tests and went to work for C&P Telephone as Operators. She never got to go to College. My Aunt did and retired as a Manager from the Phone Company in the 90's, but my mom struggled after she and my father split up in the 70's. So, like many, and I know there is nothing to complain about so this isn't complaining, just a story, they lived most of the time month to month and when they did get ahead something would happen, meth heads, Hurricanes, my stepfather owned two garages, he is a certified Diesel Mechanic, owned those garages that took in Tractor Trailer's, towed them in and repaired and got them back on the road. His partner embezzled the Company out of business and left him holding the debt, crap like that. He even had the Spindletop Contract for those who know what Spindletop is. No matter what, they could not get ahead.

 

My mother wasn't a dumb woman, in fact she was highly intelligent. She wasn't one of those people you had to explain things to, she could see it and figure it out for herself or she already knew it. She wanted to be a writer, that was her College goal. She was also a Conservative and she liked to shoot and Hunt. When I was growing up she was happier in the Mountain's toting her Model 94 than she was at the Mall. She could care less about shopping and all that crap, but she was ready to go to the Mountains and set up our GP Medium (We didn't use an RV, my father bought a GP Medium from a Surplus Store, Sunny Surplus, and that's what we camped in as far from civilization as we could get, nearly killed the entire family and three friends once because of it), And she wrote short stories about it and they were published in women's journals back in the 60's and 70's. Nothing big except to her. And she read constantly all the way up until a week and a half ago she was always with a book. I cant remember a time when I didn't see my mother with a book in her hands or sitting in front of her. Especially History books. The only time she slipped up, as far as I was concerned was in 2008. I called her and madly asked "Can you believe this BS?" I was talking about the election, and went on for a few minutes about what was going to happen to this Country. Then she said something that sent me through the roof. She voted for Obama. First time in her life she voted for a liberal. I told her, you didn't vote for a Liberal, you voted for a f'n Communist. We didn't speak for a month after I was done, which took half an hour before she hung up on me. But when we (Meaning I) decided to act like an adult, the reason she voted for him was that he scared her into voting for him. It was that simple. My mother was 100% disabled, had heart problems, could barely walk and spent most of her time in her recliner, had weeping legs (And I have no idea what causes that, but it was bad) and was on Social Security. That SOB had her and my stepfather convinced if the US were to elect another Republican they were going to cancel her Social Security. I wonder how many others were fooled by this Communist. My mother was not voting against her Country, she was voting so she could survive. Had never voted for a liberal and the smooth talking Communist fooled her, and I am sure a lot of other people. I didn't do MY part, because she didn't ask. 

 

But she was broke, and over the years told me she wished that she had something she could leave to her kids. She would apologize to me, as late as last year for having nothing to leave behind. She has asked me a thousand times to make sure when she passes not to leave her in Texas, take her home to be with her mother. I am in the process of doing that right now. And I knew she wouldn't be able to leave me anything. Who cares.

 

Well my mom, being broke, her husband working six days a week, never got to go anywhere. She did get online when she turned 67, I bought her a Laptop to relieve her boredom, showed her how to use MS Word so she could write, of course it got stolen. Then I bought her another one and a Printer, first the printer was stolen then the laptop. After the third one vanished, that was it, I didn't buy another one. You cant keep anything around a druggie.

 

But late last night one of my sisters in Texas calls me and says "mom left you something, do you want it?". Almost said no, I don't want anything. What are they going to give me, her couch? Well my mother knew that I have been interested in the family History since I was a kid. I was fortunate to grow up around a lot of old people. Old people that were old enough to remember their Civil War Ancestors. In fact, one of them is still alive. My Aunt in Georgia turned 100 last year. She attended many of their funerals and lived in the same farmhouse as my 3rd Great Grandfather until he died in 1921. Heard many of the stories first hand. My mother and I spoke a lot about old family on her side. She told me a lot, but I never had time to get it down, everything I know down her mothers line is through research, even though I stayed on their Farms in Virginia and MD and spent a lot of summers at my Uncles house on the Rappahannock, and all of my cousins are my age and cant remember anything either. I had told my mother, you like to write, write for the kids if you want to leave something. Told her that 100 times. Even offered to buy her the materials to write with, she always said no, she was too tired or whatever. 

 

Instead of saying no, I asked what it was that my mother left me. Figured, actually, that maybe some trinket I bought her for Christmas or something. No telling.

 

Well what it is, is that my sisters were sorting through her personal effects in her closet, and in there my mother left letters to her daughters, and left me journals. She has been writing now for years. And that is what she left me. No it is not money or Gold, it is better than money or Gold. My mother wrote several journals that cover everything from her childhood to my birth and everything about MY life from my birth to just recently, from her perspective. I could not believe it. I am not, in any way, shape or form an emotional person, the very few times I have gotten emotional, meaning PO'd, was usually something about Politics. And that has been VERY FEW times. I do not allow myself to get that way. I do not cry when family members die, that is something from my father and on. When I was a kid, you start crying about something, you got whacked upside the head. Men don't do that. And I never have as an adult. I try to think everything through before doing something, come up with multiple solutions and pick the best solution and have other solutions to fall back on if the first one fails. As soon as my mother passed, as happens many times, family Politics started and I was forced yesterday to just take control of the situation. Things needed to be moved, things needed to be done, now all the people with their heads up their ass cannot make a move unless I say so, including my stepfather. And I am in the process of taking care of business, I have to get my mother back to Maryland, so the BS had to stop. And it did, and I have been on the phone with all sorts of people the last couple of days. I had no idea how complicated this process is. Having a body cremated (Her request), setting up two services in two different States, getting things paid for and all that. 

 

But I have to admit, when my sister told me that and told me some of the things that are in the journals "My sister started by saying, after I asked what it was, you will want it, it's all about you". it took me a minute to absorb what my mother had done. 

 

And once I took a minute to think about it. you can guess, it wiped me out. And to be perfectly honest, I am still wiped out. I have to start making phone calls to 3 States and about 10 places starting at 8 AM, I have to finalize arrangements and begin paying for things. From "Simply taking care of business, things that have to be taken care of" to wiped out in one sentence. And THAT is not me. 

 

To sum it up, this woman who had nothing really, who was concerned because she had nothing to leave her children, and who was actually disappointed at times because she did not end her life at the financial level of the rest of her family, left the best thing she could have left. better than money, better than anything else I can think of. She left something physical that can be passed along to my kid and grandkids. She left a story for me to tell. How the hell can you beat that? 

 

Sorry for the real extremely long post. It;s just what is going on at the moment. 

 

EDIT: My sister sent me a photo of part of one of the pages. I am not sure I am even going to be able to read these journals.

 

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Edited by TankerHC
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sorry for your loss. your mom sounds like she was an excellent woman who put her kids before herself. Take comfort in the fact that even though she didnt have much in  this life while wanting so much more, that she is now living better than any of us can imagine! thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family

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So sorry for your loss. I have to admit, reading your post on the other thread last night my eyes were watering after the first paragraph. By the end of the third paragraph there were a few tears down in my beard.

Thank you for sharing a brief insight into the person your mother was. Clearly she was very special. I'm glad you had the opportunity to take her out for a few more vacations, it sounds like seeing Tennessee and being with her son were highlights for her.

May she rest in peace, and may you and yours feel comfort in this time.
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Sorry for your loss Tanker and Prayers are being sent for you. You got something much more valuable than Gold Tanker. You have books of your Mothers Love. Things were different in my family. All of my family elders had great sums of money and as elders passed away there were only a few that earned the wealth and those were the ones least deserving of it but they figured out ways to swindle the rest of us out of our shares and that money did was divided my family and I have brothers I have not spoken with for over 10 years since my Grandmother and Mother passed away and the so called care taker brothers that cared for them in their last years managed to get all the Wills changed giving them all the wealth. But I don't miss the money of the relationship of my brothers. They will get their dues on judgement day and that is good enough for me...........jmho

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