gun sane

His Indian name is "Runs Over His Belt."

Still waiting for that call about the job at the car wash.

The guys who posted the last 21 lies were not allowed in the school gym locker room at the same time.

The anesthesiologist who handled my last colonoscopy billed Medicare for over $900 for the procedure.  He got a check for $29 from those S.O.B.s.

Called 911 to report UFOs, but found out they were only fireflies.

Wonders why the tuba never caught on in country music.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQzupic5RkE

Could not put "Same Sex Legal Kit for Dummies" down.   http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/samesex-legal-kit-for-dummies-cheat-sheet.html

My very first girlfriend....and I had to share her with millions. [url=http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php][/url] http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/08/showbiz/annette-funicello-obit/index.html

Has a 3-for-1 coupon from Rosetta Stone just in case.  Leaning towards Spanish, Russian and Farsi.

Wondering if pink grips on a .25 Raven will hurt its value.

Last week my bride got word that one of her favorite doctors was calling it quits. He was leaving his practice presumably because of Obamacare. Even though this dedicated man thinks first of his patients, he cannot continue helping them if he's broke or burned out. This leaves several hundred of his patients in the lurch, scrambling to make new appointments with unfamiliar physicians--or even nurse practitioners--in uncertain times. If this Frankenstein monster of a dilapidated health system doesn't get corrected soon, you're going to be seeing first year med students from China for your medical needs.   http://money.cnn.com/2013/04/08/smallbusiness/doctors-bankruptcy/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Still undecided about Obama's third term.

His wife's family calls him, "that thing she married."

Bought his first Led Zeppelin album thinking it was German polka music.

His back goes out more than he does.

Calls his gal, "Rocky Top", because the doc used silica instead of silicone.

Works as a towel boy at a women's health club for $100 per week.  It's all he can afford.

Wants his fifteen minutes of fame in 30-second segments.

Wonders why Preparation A to G didn't work.

Sold Charter Arms on the rainbow color idea.

Thinks "Saving Private Ryan" would have been better as a musical comedy.

A member of Nancy Pelosi's think tank.

I've charged cases with powder when I forgot to install a primer.  Just a little cleanup chore was the penalty for that brain hiccup.  I've also made a few too hot by making a mistake extrapolating data, but after firing the first round I knew I had a problem.  Had to pull the tooth on 49 cartridges.  So far, nobody or no gun's been hurt, thank God.

Once auditioned at the Grand Ol' Opry by singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall."

Turned down a $300 deal on a Colt Python because he's afraid of snakes.