I went the divorce route in 2004. The kids were grown and the house was paid for so there were no issues there. We went for the agreed divorce. She kept the house,which is on the Historic Register and I kept 2 pensions intact. Everything else was an equitible split. I was very lucky. 2 years after it was final she had to take a huge second mortgage to replace and restore the tile roof and the HVAC system. Agreed divorces are a ton less expensive than contested ones. My lawyer charged $400 and her lawyer was $450. I hope you can do it this way.
