First ever: 1911 decorated formally as combat vet!

[TresMon]

[ satire]

Did you hear that they have redesignated the military sidearm formally  know as the

 "Colt 1911A1"

 government model pistol... & accordingly, it's classic original chambering:

 45 ACP
(A.utomatic C.olt
P.istol C.artridge?)

Yep.

It's the first weapon in the history of the US DOD weapons arsenal to receive a human'like military service medal of sorts, after (both sidearm and  cartridge) has served faithfully for over 100+ years in both military war-time & peace, law  enforcement and competitive pistol shooting at all conceivable forms.

Not to mention as well as relied upon & loved by millions of Americans for personal defense... & last but not least, having a "only after you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers"  world wide affinity to "those who know." 

Yep-

The pistol is now redesignated/ called the:

"19'AARP"

and the cartridge, is now the:

" .45 ASSDEPO. "

ASSDEPO being the official acronym that stands for:

Automatic Soc. Sec.  Dissability  Entitlment Pay
Out

[after  gran'pa caught your  punk self  in his shed at 0245 HRS.  tryna steal his lawn mower; him accordingly following his 'drafted into 'Nam training protocol:

B.R.A.S.S,911. 

For the uniformed, "BRASS" is the old school USMC shooting acronym:

B.reath

(while)R.elease(-ing)

S.queeze

S.hoot.

Let's have a round for such a faithful, long serving veteran of these United States, now formally & correctly honored!

Cheers!