Sir, first and foremost, thank you for your service! A lot has been engineered out since the M16A1s debuted. I had the A2 & A3 during my military service. A lot of the malfunctions I also witnessed were additionally scary; Mil-Spec parts leave a lot to be desired. Fast forward to 2018, companies like VSEVEN, LANTAC, FAXON, BALLISTIC ADVANTAGE, & AERO PRECISION have good Bolt Carriers and excellent parts. But the only one that I have seen address the malfunctions that you and I were privy to is from Sharps Rifle Company.
A small "start-up" out of Florida purchased the old Christian Sharps name and used the AR-15 platform to introduce a 25 caliber cartridge for the AR-15. However they went a step further and made improvements to the Bolt Carrier, and the Bolt itself that greatly reduce the issues that have plagued the rifle since Vietnam.
Sharps had some difficulties with the previous "Balanced Bolt Carrier." They have since eliminated the issues they experienced and offer a rock solid BCG for under $200. I own three of their BCGs, one of the NP3 treated that you can't find anymore, one in Zrn, and one inf DLC. It might be a lot to analyze, but these surface treatments actually help with lubricity in the Upper Receiver. I have run hundreds of rounds through them with zero issues!
The difference between the Mil-Spec hardware and the Sharps BCGs are like night and day. Mil-Spec always felt very clunky to me and I never really cared for it, favoring my M1 Garand to it any day. But recently I decided to build two AR-15 using Aero Precision parts. Aero makes their parts to exacting tolerances that surpass Mil-Spec. These upper end parts (for not a lot of money) end up making a huge difference. The two Areos that I have with the Sharos BCGs are the smoothest running AR-15 I have ever fired.
So, I can understand your frustration with the M16A1s, whereas I also have reservations with the A2s & A3s, and opted for the "artwork" peices from WWII, Korea, and early Vietnam era. However, if you were to purchase quality parts, such as Aero and the like, I think you would be greatly impressed with the results. Places like Rifle.Life, Granite Ridge Outfitters, and B Kings Firearms, Brownells, offer excellent parts for good prices.