gun sane

Swears that it's Kentucky, Virginia and the Carolinas that are pointing in the wrong direction.

Has held up traffic for hours watching for falling rocks.

Notorious Centrum Silver smuggler.

    I wonder how long it will be before HHS Secretary Sebelius throws a wrench into that process.

Can't pass a background check because he writes, "None of Your Damn Business" on Form 4473.

Practices SHTF scenarios with real S.

The only patient Nurse Ratched was ever kind to.

It's far too late to make this into a Monty Python skit.   http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/04/08/can-this-be-real-man-buys-two-toy-poodles-only-to-discover-later-that-they-were-ferrets-jacked-up-on-steroids/   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218

Once crossed an elephant with a zebra...and got a dirty look from the zebra.

His Indian name is "Runs Over His Belt."

Still waiting for that call about the job at the car wash.

The guys who posted the last 21 lies were not allowed in the school gym locker room at the same time.

The anesthesiologist who handled my last colonoscopy billed Medicare for over $900 for the procedure.  He got a check for $29 from those S.O.B.s.

Called 911 to report UFOs, but found out they were only fireflies.

Wonders why the tuba never caught on in country music.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQzupic5RkE

Could not put "Same Sex Legal Kit for Dummies" down.   http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/samesex-legal-kit-for-dummies-cheat-sheet.html

My very first girlfriend....and I had to share her with millions. [url=http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php][/url] http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/08/showbiz/annette-funicello-obit/index.html

Has a 3-for-1 coupon from Rosetta Stone just in case.  Leaning towards Spanish, Russian and Farsi.

Wondering if pink grips on a .25 Raven will hurt its value.

Last week my bride got word that one of her favorite doctors was calling it quits. He was leaving his practice presumably because of Obamacare. Even though this dedicated man thinks first of his patients, he cannot continue helping them if he's broke or burned out. This leaves several hundred of his patients in the lurch, scrambling to make new appointments with unfamiliar physicians--or even nurse practitioners--in uncertain times. If this Frankenstein monster of a dilapidated health system doesn't get corrected soon, you're going to be seeing first year med students from China for your medical needs.   http://money.cnn.com/2013/04/08/smallbusiness/doctors-bankruptcy/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Still undecided about Obama's third term.

His wife's family calls him, "that thing she married."

Bought his first Led Zeppelin album thinking it was German polka music.

His back goes out more than he does.

Calls his gal, "Rocky Top", because the doc used silica instead of silicone.