Handsome Rob

Fight you for it...... That is soooooo at the top of my Christmas list.

Hmm. In knifemaking, torture & destruction testing is a very vital learning tool. Only by breaking something can you find out where it's weaknesses lie. Admittedly, it sucks the big one to make a beautiful blade & then purposely break it, but I learnt a helluva lot in doing so (many times, I might add)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maths over the years 1. A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is 80% of the price. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80. How much was his profit? 4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Maths In 2005 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20. 6. Teaching Maths In 2009 A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns t o find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash.. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor. Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life? 7. Teaching Maths In 2010 A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses. The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different namesand fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master. The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances. You do the maths. 8. Teaching Maths 2017 أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانت 8ج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟ £20 المجل تبيع حمله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانت=D 8ج مالثمن. ما هو الربح له؟ اسجل تبيع حموه شاح الخشب من ادولار. حب تكلة الات=D 8ج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

Qantas Airlines: Repair Division In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny........... (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING SEATMATE If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train follow these instructions: (and maybe say goodbye!). 1.. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. 2.. Remove your laptop. 3.. Start up 4.. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen. 5.. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky. 6.. Then hit this link http://tinyurl.com/34fzpf

www.ammunitiontogo.com lists .32 rimfire. They're presently out of stock, but I've seen it there before. Just out of interest.

What I was thinking of for next time is a simple, four round competition. Combinaton rifle & pistol. Rules are real simple, you get to use 1 rifle & 1 pistol, any calibre, any configuration, scoped or not. Shoot 3 rounds at 100yds, 3 at 50 & 3 at 25 with the rifle, then 5 rounds at 10yds with your pistol. The format I'm thinking of is how we used to score air-rifle target shoots back in the UK. 3-ring target scoring 5-3-1. 2" bullseye for 100 & 50yds, 1" bullseye for 25yds & pistol. Shoot the same rifle at all 3 distances, plus any pistol. At the end of the shoot, your 4 targets are added together for a final score. Nice & simple! I'll print off & supply all the targets. First prize is 1 month's worth of Forum bragging rights What say y'all?

When's the draw? I keep checking the TWRA site, but it's still 'pending' I'm getting impatient!

Guys, I had an awesome time yesterday! Thanks to all'a y'all for letting me play with some of the 'modern' stuff! (Okay, I now NEED to buy an AR, an FN, an AK & several Glocks) Sorry for the smoke inahalation issues! Can't wait for the next time.

They all look the same with no head.

Screw the gun, just throw the 2 pound brass, bronze $ steel cube at the bad guy! Innovative; yes. Interesting; yes. Engineering marvel; yes. SHTF bugout tacticool TEOTWAWKI zombie/alien dispatch tool; ummm.....

Has anyone ever hunted there? It's Franklin Co. Only a tiny place (80 acres IIRC) & I've never heard anything about it. I'm looking for somewhere close to home to hunt this year. Last year I was having to drive 2 hours (+ ½ hour on the ATV + a 45 minute walk) to get to my hunting areas. Don't wanna do that again!

Looking forward to it Kurt!

Top tip; Stay away from Newcastle Brown. I was brought up on the stuff & I've probably drunk enough that I could've used the cash I spent on it to buy a nice house. There's no hangover like a 'Newky' hangover & there's no cure for it. In England we get it in proper pint bottles too, not the foofy little halves you get here. 9 or 10 pints of Newky on a Saturday night wasn't at all unusual, topped off with a few Scotches & you've got the makings of a good night (& probably an EPIC punch-up!) Best thing to do with any hangover is to just man up & get on with it. Worry about the fat-eye, split lip & unexplainable fat-chick underwear in your pocket later.

Replace, "little old lady" with "wannbe Rambo type" Same situation? Same conclusion? Sorry, I just hate when appearances/perceptions are used to sway an argument. In all honesty, no, I wouldn't conciously buy the gun for $50, but neither would I offer her full market on it either. $200 would seem reasonable to me. She's getting 4 times what she wanted & is obviously going to be happy, I'm getting it for under 50% of market value & I'm happy. This is all working on the supposition that I wanted to sell the gun on for a profit, as is the case in this thread. However, if the little old lady told me she just wanted rid, ASAP to buy a better gun & was happy to accept $50, then fair play, $50 it is.

So, I guess this means it's now perfectly acceptable to jump in on classified threads, telling the seller that their gun is over/underpriced, yes? Bottom line is, if you trade anything old (whether 1 day or 100 years) against something new from a professional merchant you are absolutley, 100%, without a doubt, going to receive way, way less that it's market value. Some may argue that he could've paid more & made less money, but why the hell should he? He is in business to make money. As much money as he possibly can, the same as any other business. It's unfortunate, but in the real world, if someone offers to sell you something for ½ it's value, let's be honest, you're unlikely in the extreme to try & offer them full value, are you? Of course you're not! You're gonna buy it at half price & then go tell everyone you know what a good deal you got!! As has been mentioned countless times, it takes 2 to make a bargain. At any time, either party could've backed out.

You REALLY want robbery? Go buy a $200,000 Ferrari, drive it off the lot, round the block & then try & return it. See how much you get offered.

TELL me about it! Just driving down AEDC Road from Tullahoma to the 24 is like Beirut on a Saturday night! I know that there's some good deer there, but they ain't worth losing my life for! Last year I hunted Bear Hollow (TN & AL sides) & saw some nice deer, but it's a helluva hike. Flintville Hatchery was a bust last year. I saw 6 deer on Archery opening day & not a single thing for the rest of the season. IIRC, I hunted Flintville for 18 days & never once saw a deer or heard a shot fired I'm dying to find a deer with my bow!!

Added myself to the party, if that's OK.

Would that make it a deadsickdogsickle? Working in the kennel business, I've seen a fair few dogs that look just like that. The later stages of vral mange do ndeed turn skin a blue-ey/black color. I once killed a porcupine in a mesquite tree in South West Texas that was bald & black with the Mange too. Oddest looking thing I've ever seen!

Sounds good to me Now, where the hell is Viola?

More-ish. Like crack. I do so love when people judge by appearances. I consider myself to be a fairly successful guy. I own my own business, before going self employed I worked for a reasonably high-profile engineering firm (we manufactured satelites & satelite receiving equipment) I started off in sales, dealing with companies who wanted to give me millions of pounds. At the time, I had flamingo pink dreads (which I've since shaved off) multiple facial piercings including very stretched lobes (all of which I still have) & full tattoing on my left arm. Seems like I've done OK, what with being a freak & all......... Mind you, I've never tried to run someone over!

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North Florida for hogs, hopefully pretty soon. Later in the year I'll be taking my longbow & .54 flintlock out to Wyoming for Elk & Antelope

Go write something on his lawn in mustard seed. He won't see it when it grows, but the first time he mows the grass......

Stumpy McShortnsquat