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Mike 2 - Chipmonks 0


Mike.357

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Guest mustangdave
okay, it should be spelled chipmUnk but I am not going back and correcting it, LOL.

Nothing new to report, been very quiet since # 5 was dispatched. Oddly I am disconcerted by the lack of activity. Makes me wonder what they are up to.

Careful Mike....they're gettin' ready to go NINJA on ya...all quiet and stealthy like...what a great thread...LMAO

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  • 3 weeks later...

just when things go quiet it happens again.

I have not heard a peep or squeek or scratchy sound from the attic since the last go round. Last night I no sooner walked into the house than I heard one of the furry beasts flopping around on a trap. seems the more they flop the better they get stuck.

I hate dealing with these things in the dark. They have the tactical advantage when it is dark. And one never knows how many more are lurking nearby.

So I go to get this one out of the eave. He had stopped flopping all together. I think the little bastard gave himself a heart attack. I yanked him and the trap out.

He was stuck like Chuck. A little fellow he was. Not to matter he was going down.

In general I am not in favor of executing youths. But with these critters I make an exception. Since the last one took several gunshots and bullets ain't getting any cheaper I decided the shovel was my friend.

I think I need to practice my touch a little with the shovel execution method. I gave the fuzzball a good crack and he freaking fairly exploded. Monk guts everywhere. I tell you it was disgusting. I scooped him and his various pieces up and deposited him in a walmart bag. Gonna dispose of him in the dumpster at work today. If I bury any more around here I will need a cemetery license.

I think this makes 8 total KIA this winter season. The bright side it there are no casualties on the human side of the battle.

Anyone have a clue as to how many chipmonks make up a settlement? Man I wish I knew how they were getting in. I am gonna have to buy some more traps next time I go to the store.

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I gave the fuzzball a good crack and he freaking fairly exploded. Monk guts everywhere. I tell you it was disgusting.

:D

Next time put him in the bag then hit him with the shovel. That way the guts are contained. Or leave the splattered carcass out as a warning to the other chipmunks...:D

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:D

Next time put him in the bag then hit him with the shovel. That way the guts are contained. Or leave the splattered carcass out as a warning to the other chipmunks...:D

"What are you gonna do with the hammer Clark?"

"I'm gonna put the coat over it, and whack it with the hammer!"

clarkgriswold-santaoutfit.jpg

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Mike, you wrote about a cat or perhaps cats. Why don't you make those usually worthless animals earn their right to continued life by putting them up in the attic/eaves and let them do their natural thing, that is if they haven't become too pampered?:D...You could bill it as the fight of the century..."Chip and Dale versus puss "......

PS damned its hard to try to write *****cat without the cat with whatever filter Tungsten has on here

Edited by 323ssplt
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Guest mustangdave

CATS....would that not be considered crossing the NUCLEAR threshold? Oh snap! dems momma's cats...dang back to SOG...chipmonk claymores, pungi-pits...MONK commandos

Edited by mustangdave
OOPS momma's catz
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Mike, you wrote about a cat or perhaps cats. Why don't you make those usually worthless animals earn their right to continued life by putting them up in the attic/eaves and let them do their natural thing, that is if they haven't become too pampered?:D...You could bill it as the fight of the century..."Chip and Dale versus puss "......

PS damned its hard to try to write *****cat without the cat with whatever filter Tungsten has on here

Drunken chipmunk style will surely defeat tiny tiger style.

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Someone besides me needs to tell my wife they are sticking her two cats in the attic. I gotta live there yanno?

LOL

Mrs. Mike357....your furry son/daughter has been called upon to go behind enemy lines on a VERY dangerous mission........

(2 weeks later) Dear Mrs. Mike 357....We regret to inform you that fuzzball and putty cat have made the ultimate sacrifice for their domicile. They were sent in on what caould only be described as a suicide mission and they accepted it with only some reluctance and few facial scrathes to those that inserted them. They encountered overwhelming numbers and superior techniques....their house and their owners owe them a great debt....:usa:

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Have you thought about transferring the live ones to a prison somewhere out of the area. Maybe set up a place over at Suntzu's and call it Guantanamonk, or Chipmo.

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Mrs. Mike357....your furry son/daughter has been called upon to go behind enemy lines on a VERY dangerous mission........

(2 weeks later) Dear Mrs. Mike 357....We regret to inform you that fuzzball and putty cat have made the ultimate sacrifice for their domicile. They were sent in on what caould only be described as a suicide mission and they accepted it with only some reluctance and few facial scrathes to those that inserted them. They encountered overwhelming numbers and superior techniques....their house and their owners owe them a great debt....:usa:

*plays Taps*

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Guest mustangdave
Have you thought about transferring the live ones to a prison somewhere out of the area. Maybe set up a place over at Suntzu's and call it Guantanamonk, or Chipmo.

Nancy Pelosi has graciously renamed a famous prison in their honor...I give you...MONKA--TRAZ

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Have you thought about transferring the live ones to a prison somewhere out of the area. Maybe set up a place over at Suntzu's and call it Guantanamonk, or Chipmo.

I waterboard. Besides, I don't think my neighbors would appreciate having detainees so close to their FINE homes.

Here is an idea of what my neighborhood is like during the summer after their team scores.

es3l82.gif

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!

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