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Man goes berserk after excessive-flatulence teasing


waynesan

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Guest Lester Weevils

Laws must be passed to prevent these senseless tragedies.

For instance, note that the perp was in possession of multiple knives. If people were restricted to only one knife, then the severity of this tragedy may have been mitigated.

There should be a 14 day cooling off period on the purchase of knives. That may avert some tragedies by allowing sufficient time for a person to get over his flatulence and avoid stabbing friends.

Another lesson from this disaster-- Knives don't kill people, Flatulence does!

Knives should never be sold to any person with a history of flatulence. In fact, predictive precautions should also be implemented. Prospective knife customers should be required to provide a doctor's statement that they are unlikely to have attacks of flatulence.

Prospective customers must fill out the required federal questionnaire, attesting under penalty of perjury that they never consume hazardous substances such as beans, cabbage, or beer.

Predictably the evil money-grubbing bean lobby is opposed to this common-sense knife regulation, but we should not coddle the greedy concerns of a few bean magnates at the cost of compromising public safety!

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That guy is going to be real popular in prison.

The gang rape will cause the dangerous weapon to used as a tool for a prison break. The aroma will cause the guards to be unconsious. The other prisoners will start a riot. There is no good to come out of prison in this case. Ship him off to the frozen tundra to melt the ice!

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Prove Farts can turn deadly.

Next time you are on a crowed elevator and someone farts, you will remember this. Same will go for an airplane or any other crowded place you may be disarmed in.

As long as you are the "someone", they will be the ones doing the remembering. :devil:

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