A word of advice

[DixieDawg]

Some words of wisdom for dads with daughters -Dusty-

[TMF]

I think I'll also be teaching my daughter not to get involved with douchey losers and volitile relationships that will later require a restraining order.

[DixieDawg]

I second that and for the most part that starts at home I believe little girls get their idea of what a man should be by what kind of man their father is and by how their father treats women in general -Dusty-

[RED333]

I used all 3 of the above with my daughter.

[Guest Lowbuster]

I used all 3 of the above with my daughter.

Smart man.

[bersaguy]

I have a grand daughter right now that is on probation from getting involved with trash. She has a baby boy from the guy and when he got caught dealing drugs she was charged also even though she was not directly involved but was living with him. He is in jail because he has a rap sheet long as his arm. She got probation because she had never been in trouble before but I cannot get her a HCP now so all she has to depend on is that piece of paper and he said when he gets out he will be coming to see his son , paper or not.

[DixieDawg]

Sounds like a bad situation my friend sorry to hear about the misfortune hopefully it can be taken care of in other ways sounds like that boy could use a good old fashioned come to Jesus meeting -Dusty-

[Dustbuster]

I think I'll also be teaching my daughter not to get involved with douchey losers and volitile relationships that will later require a restraining order.

 

might be a big mistake, girls love bad boys,the ones you disapprove of shell embrace and vice versa.. trust me on this one,let em make their own decision and make em aware of lotsa other choices,,,, HTH,went through my fair share of teenage daughter drama.... boys are easier..........boyfriend issues are not

[TMF]

might be a big mistake, girls love bad boys,the ones you disapprove of shell embrace and vice versa.. trust me on this one,let em make their own decision and make em aware of lotsa other choices,,,, HTH,went through my fair share of teenage daughter drama.... boys are easier..........boyfriend issues are not

The difference here is teaching your young ones to make the right choices in the absence of guidance versus making their choices for them. I have some experience in this department. The observations I made while going through middle/high school in a community that was much like the original Footloose gave me enough insight to understand how my kids would be raised.

I think that people confuse good parenting with reactionary parenting rather than proactive parenting. Once they are teenagers, and you are having to react to unwanted behavior, you're already working against the power curve. The point is to raise them properly and manage from a distance once they become their own people. I have no illusions of cracking down the hammer when my daughter is a teenager. I know what right looks like and there is (9/10) a common denominator in achieving that.

Most places in the world a person is an adult at 16. I intend on treating my kids the same when by the time they reach that age, for better or worse.


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[E4 No More]

I think I'll also be teaching my daughter not to get involved with douchey losers and volitile relationships that will later require a restraining order.

Good luck with that. They tell you that they got it and then turn around and marry one.

 

My father said, "Daughters bring home road-kill and ask you to love them." When I laughed he asked my why I was laughing when I was road-kill too.

[TMF]

Good luck with that. They tell you that they got it and then turn around and marry one.

My father said, "Daughters bring home road-kill and ask you to love them." When I laughed he asked my why I was laughing when I was road-kill too.

I don't deny that all men are severely flawed by our drive to penetrate every female within striking distance, but there is a huge difference between bad boys and good guys. I have enough experience in this department to not only know the difference, but to know the personalities and raising of girls who also know the difference. Some are single moms with several kids from several dads, and I predicted that stuff back when I was 15. Some are married with a stable family and a good husband. Like I said, there are common denominators and there are indicators. Looking back I'm pretty amazed at my abilities of observation, that in the few cases that I was ditched in favor of the guy with the big mud tires and lift kit, I was being done a favor, and I knew it.

Then there were the good ones, who had parents that weren't up their daughter's ass about being home by a certain time or not doing this or that. They trusted their kid because they knew they had done their best in the limited time you get to do that. You can't suddenly teach a teenager right from wrong and how to make good choices; that starts when they're still in diapers.


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[peejman]

...  You can't suddenly teach a teenager right from wrong and how to make good choices; that starts when they're still in diapers.
 

 

 

 

And there it is.  By the time a large number of parents start thinking about teaching their kids about such things, it's way too late.  By the time the kid is 16-18 yrs old, you're pretty much done as a parent.  Personality traits, spending/saving habits, work ethic... it's all pretty well set by then.  If you haven't spent the prior 10 yrs teaching them those lessons and concepts, they're going to spend the next 10 yrs learning them the hard way.  

[Dustbuster]

The difference here is teaching your young ones to make the right choices in the absence of guidance versus making their choices for them. I have some experience in this department. The observations I made while going through middle/high school in a community that was much like the original Footloose gave me enough insight to understand how my kids would be raised.

I think that people confuse good parenting with reactionary parenting rather than proactive parenting. Once they are teenagers, and you are having to react to unwanted behavior, you're already working against the power curve. The point is to raise them properly and manage from a distance once they become their own people. I have no illusions of cracking down the hammer when my daughter is a teenager. I know what right looks like and there is (9/10) a common denominator in achieving that.

Most places in the world a person is an adult at 16. I intend on treating my kids the same when by the time they reach that age, for better or worse.


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You're missing one thing. You can't rationalize w teenage girls. My girl has done well,her bf is a jock they both get good grades and stay out of trouble. Now how it was before all of this was a complete 180. I will say we did parent and never acted like peers. The one thing that was crucial was how she felt she looked to her friends and class mates. She realized the bad boy thing wasn't worth it on her own..... Thank god :) life is good and almost drama free..


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[TMF]

You're missing one thing. You can't rationalize w teenage girls.

Of course you can't. That's the whole reason why they are raised to make the right decisions on their own, so you aren't beating your head against a wall when they're teenagers. Kids are still gonna mess up, but who they are as a person is already set by the time the hormones take over.




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[Dustbuster]

Agreed.


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[bersaguy]

Sounds like a bad situation my friend sorry to hear about the misfortune hopefully it can be taken care of in other ways sounds like that boy could use a good old fashioned come to Jesus meeting -Dusty-

 

I can assure , she was raise in a home that has high morals and she was an honor roll student all of her years in school. She dated many very nice respectable young men and because she is a beautiful young lady she could have had her choice of a lot good upstanding young men. When her mother saw her heading down a wrong path she tried many times to talk to her about some of the nice young men she dated. The only excise she gave her mother for not wanting to choose one of them was they were boring and she liked men that were exciting. Well I guess she is now learning just what exciting can do for her future. We as a family are going to take the steps necessary to protect her and her baby and when he decides that the paper means nothing to him and he will do as he pleases that may end up being the biggest mistake of his life because then he will deal with family which may be detrimental to his health and physical well being...............jmho  

[DixieDawg]

My friend I wish you the best my prayers will be with you and your family -Dusty-

[bersaguy]

Thanks Dusty and I forgot to also mention that she cannot visit me at my home and I am her grandfather. She cannot go to visit her mother and father at their home, She can't even visit her two brothers at their homes because she is on probation and every home I listed has firearms in them. We are not even sure she will be able to visit after her probation unless we want to remove all the guns from our homes while she is there. Makes it hard to help someone you almost cannot get near for the most part. We are looking into it to see if the guns are lock in safes if she would be able to come visit but have not heard from attorney or Probation officer yet.................. :shrug: :shrug:  

[DixieDawg]

Like I said good luck I hope it all works out for y'all but in this time of liberal judges and bad publicity in liberal media it's mainly going to come down to the judge and the probation officer in charge -Dusty-

[TrickyNicky]

Thanks Dusty and I forgot to also mention that she cannot visit me at my home and I am her grandfather. She cannot go to visit her mother and father at their home, She can't even visit her two brothers at their homes because she is on probation and every home I listed has firearms in them. We are not even sure she will be able to visit after her probation unless we want to remove all the guns from our homes while she is there. Makes it hard to help someone you almost cannot get near for the most part. We are looking into it to see if the guns are lock in safes if she would be able to come visit but have not heard from attorney or Probation officer yet.................. :shrug: :shrug:

We had a friend if my sisters live with us about a year when I was in high school. He fell on some bad financial trouble and was a good friend to our family.

He was a convicted felon.

My father was a cop.

We had plenty of guns in the house.

I'll ask and see if there was a legal exception or if dad decided to hell with it. Neither would be overly surprising.

[Worriedman]

Past about 12 years old, the only people your kids are going to pay attention to is their friends (now with Common Core they are attempting government takeover of that span), better get your priorities instilled in them early.

Edited March 1, 2014 by Worriedman

[TMF]

Past about 12 years old, the only people your kids are going to pay attention to is their friends (now with Common Core they are attempting government takeover of that span), better get your priorities instilled in them early.

It was no different when I was 12.


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[Worriedman]

It was no different when I was 12.


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I was very lucky, the smartest person I knew was my Grand Pa, the Old Marine had seen and done a lot of stuff.  My Dad was busy working his hinney off trying to feed, cloth and educate 6 kids, Grand Pa was my bud.  Taught me how to be patient, how to hunt, gather and fish for effect.

Today's electronic world is not the same, more is the pity.  I would do anything for his praise, and to escape disappointing him I decided not to do a lot of stupid stuff.