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We NEED to ban these assault weapons


Guest billwilly73

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Guest billwilly73

Tenn. couple accused of assault using Cheetos - Yahoo! News

Tenn. couple accused of assault using Cheetos Fri Jun 26, 3:19 pm ET

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. – Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff's Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a 'verbal altercation.' Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.

Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

According to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette, both posted bond of $2,500.

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Information from: Shelbyville Times-Gazette, http://www.t-g.com

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Guest billwilly73

THIS JUST IN.....................

Lawmakers are pondering new legislation. "We must require that all snack owners have a background check and be placed on the snack owners registry," said Senator Chester. "Cheetos should be placed in the 'assault snack' category and require training and licensing for use."

Safer Cheetos for America has released a statement reaffirming their demand that Cheetos be banned nationwide. However, the National Cheetos Alliance has responded with, "When Cheetos are banned, only criminals will have Cheetos."

The couple are considering bringing public nuisance charges against Cheetos. "We'd have never bought them if we knew how dangerous they were! Now we know better; we'll only buy soft, chewy snacks, like Little Debbie."

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Guest m&pc9
THIS JUST IN.....................

Lawmakers are pondering new legislation. "We must require that all snack owners have a background check and be placed on the snack owners registry," said Senator Chester. "Cheetos should be placed in the 'assault snack' category and require training and licensing for use."

Safer Cheetos for America has released a statement reaffirming their demand that Cheetos be banned nationwide. However, the National Cheetos Alliance has responded with, "When Cheetos are banned, only criminals will have Cheetos."

The couple are considering bringing public nuisance charges against Cheetos. "We'd have never bought them if we knew how dangerous they were! Now we know better; we'll only buy soft, chewy snacks, like Little Debbie."

I have heard they are putting orange dye on them, So they can find the person who is responsible for the assault.

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Guest billwilly73

Just a couple more things........

1. That was an EXPENSIVE bag of Cheetos

2. Just how hard do you have to throw a cheeto before it becomes assault?

3. If Obama tries to take my cheeto's he will have to pry them from my cold, dead, orange cheesey fingers.

4. Would yelling "GO BIG ORANGE" be in bad taste?

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Guest charliedavidson

The government is now launching the FBI Instant Cheetos Background Check System.. All snack purchases will now undergo background check through this system..:D

It amazes me, how weird news has become.. and how did they attack each other with cheetos? hmm wat next, drowning via coolaid..:pleased:

Free Background Check Information - Don't be a Victim

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Guest bkelm18
Hey you people need to get a clue OK and give these people a break because it ain't easy...being cheesy.

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

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Guest PapaB

I've seen these potentially deadly snacks being sold in locations that sell alcohol. People, this is insanity! Alcohol and Cheetos do not mix. Contact your legislators and demand they pass laws to protect us from Cheetos in bars. ;)

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Guest billwilly73

I'm just glad that it wasn't Doritos. With those sharp edges and that "ningy throwin star" shape, it could have been deadly.

On a side note I am buying all the snack food I can so when it is banned I can resale it for 10 times what it is worth. ;)

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Guest db99wj
I'm just glad that it wasn't Doritos. With those sharp edges and that "ningy throwin star" shape, it could have been deadly.

On a side note I am buying all the snack food I can so when it is banned I can resale it for 10 times what it is worth. ;)

Well Crap.

They should have some sort of safety labels on those Bags of Pain!

Hey, Dorito's, otherwise known as ENCC's, (Evil Nacho Cheese Chips) can hurt you....badly. Ever had one of those evil corners jam into that area where your gum and tooth meets...man, that hurts..

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Guest JHatmaker
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Nibb High Football rules!!!!

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I think they are trying to outlaw certain types of assault fritos also,the scoops are the worst type of weapons anyone makes,brings tears to your eyes when one jambs into the roof of your mouth,I say ban em all,there all dangerous,especially to your thighs.:up:

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"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

"Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine."

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