The Never Ending Story.

[Luckyforward]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .

[Sleep profit]

Jill ponders on selling the glowing  box. And starting her dream to be a hairstylist in Key West 

[BigK]

...but that only made her sad as her meth-addled brain tried to count how many times she'd already done that to make her hairstyling dream come true.

[res308]

And sadness was something Jill knew all too well, as it had been her constant companion ever since she graduated elementary school and went out on her own…

[RED333]

to become the best paddle border know, however…

[Luckyforward]

But first, she had to get over her aquaphobia . . .

Edited May 3, 2023 by Luckyforward

[Grayfox54]

She was deathly afraid of spiders. 

[NoBanStan]

That's when she realized that the box was a Fangorian mental discombobulator, and it was reaching critical mass!

Edited May 3, 2023 by NoBanStan

[CMDRStormBorn]

In truth, Jill had been a walking menagerie of phobias and that ever lurking sadness she shouldered everywhere she went until… 

[res308]

…she delightfully discovered those tiny crystals which, when smoked….

[BigK]

...made her giggle worse than that idiot, Camel Toe Harris.

[Luckyforward]

And upon awakening from this dream she realized she had a future before her . . .

[Gurn]

But then the moon exploded... 

[CMDRStormBorn]

Caught in the rapture of her chemical induced glee, she laughed through tears as she watched footage of the subsequent tidal waves on her Hello Kitty themed phone screen.

[RED333]

and as the ground shook from the quakes she went to the highest ground she could find but a crack appeared and a ...

[Luckyforward]

A little green man appeared to her and said, "Hello, Earthling"

[Gurn]

Quickly get in my ship and escape this place. 

[Sleep profit]

But I can’t leave Jack she exclaimed 

[BigK]

The little green man pushed a button on his wrist communicator and instantly took on the appearance of Jack. "I have been disguised as Jack this whole time. Quick, get in my ship, while there's still time" he said.

[NoBanStan]

As she boarded the ship, she was hit with an overwhelming smell of Doritos. There, in the corner was the real jack. He was laying on a beanbag chair and enjoying some cool ranch. "Yuck!" she exclaimed. "What happened to the...."

[Luckyforward]

Handle of George Dickel that was here?

[RED333]

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE, that ain’t my finger ether, but…

[Sleep profit]

Meanwhile the alien ship had gone to warp and was approaching the Andromeda Galaxy. 

[Luckyforward]

Out in the distance, another ship approached with the markings "NCC-1701" on it . . .

[Gurn]

On the Enterprise McCoy was overhead saying “ I’m a Doctor not a Doritos salesman