Married guy 'Kitchen Pass' Strategy and Tactics?

[Lumber_Jack]

I don't look at it as permission as much as an adult discussion of how our finances are spent. There is no 'my' money it's OUR money, even though she is a full time student and I am the only one earning an actual income.

But this is to my advantage cause she is in Medical School and someday when she is bringing in $250k /year I still want it to be OUR money

[Jonnin]

90% of gun related stuff I buy is FOR my wife, who has expensive tastes. She said the next big purchase has to be for me =) So, I guess the best secret strategy is to get her into the sport if you can...

[Guest nysos]

My fiance just recently started working again after being unemployed for over a year, and is finally going to be helping with some of the bills (I don't make a whole lot of money, but we get by) so any purchased I had to save for a long amount of time. There was never an issue of needing permission, but if I bought a gun she was more concerned about our finances than anything. Then again, she is worse with her finances, I have to break things down and make sure they get payed. If it was up to her, I would pay all the bills and all of her money would be our "mutual play money" which means I would occasionally get a new shirt as she spends all her money on clothes.

I found the easiest way to get past this roadblock is the "trade" mentality.

"you bought a new gun?!?!"

- no its a used gun

"you bought a used gun!??!"

- no I traded X gun for it

"oh ok"

(*tucks X gun that was "Traded" into a dark corner and sneaks it out on range trips*)

or the investment ideal, "oh I picked up this gun because the pawn shop/seller/gun store didn't know what model they had and it is worth a lot more, I am just going to turn it over and make $200 on it, but I may as well shoot it a little while I have it right? 2 months later.....you know this gun shoots so nice and since I got such a good deal on it, I may as well keep it.

Another good arguement for me is that guns retain most of their value if kept in good condition, even if used they don't really depreciate past a certain point. Others value increases over time. Her clothes are next to worthless for resale if we need to get some money back out of something in a pinch, and I guarantee you she wouldn't be volunteering any of her stuff for sale if we were in a pinch.....

Edited August 16, 2011 by nysos

[Guest mustangdave]

Get her involved...teach her to shoot...Jonnin is right...I bought my wife a lever action Henry rifle for her birthday...for that year...i could do no wrong...LOL

[bigwakes]

I took my wife shopping for ear rings one time. The very next stop was a gun store. She got ear rings and I got a Glock. It also helps to buy "her" a gun and I get to "borrow" it occasionally. Too bad she only likes revolvers.

[1gewehr]

We split our joint expenses (house, utilities, food, etc). We each have a budget which includes our expenses, savings, maintenance of house and vehicles, clothes, vacations, etc. And we each have a discretionary budget. Mine usually goes towards guns and ammo. We have never had an argument about it.

Avoid debt. If you have credit card or vehicle debt, pay it off before buying any more fun stuff. When you don't have that debt hanging over your head, you have a whole lot less to argue about.

[sigmtnman]

Just smack the old lady on the ass, tell her you wear the pants and take care of business.

[Links2k]

I should add to Daniel's post, ALWAYS have a small discretionary fund.

Always! You can bet that she has one.

Also, don't complain about the designer purses and other crap that she purchases ten at a time because they were on sale.

Lastly, my wife could care less about guns so now I let her see me purchasing guns and gun related items on the internet and she instantly loses interest.

conversation: wife- what's that?

me- gun stuff

wife- oh....walks away

Edited August 16, 2011 by LINKS2K

[Links2k]

Never understood the asking permission thing most guys do. I'm not a child. I don't need permission to spend my money

That said, tell her to make you a samich (which she should be doing automatically soon as you walk in anyway) and when her back is turned....

IF you need more time, tell her to get you a beer...

Win!

[D3vo]

On Sunday my wife and seven year old daughter called me from Walmart. My seven year old,

at the direction of my wife, asked me: "Daddy. Do you need any ammo?".

More to the question: I ask.... No games, just blessed.

Edited August 16, 2011 by D3vo

[Links2k]

I don't look at it as permission as much as an adult discussion of how our finances are spent. There is no 'my' money it's OUR money, even though she is a full time student and I am the only one earning an actual income.

But this is to my advantage cause she is in Medical School and someday when she is bringing in $250k /year I still want it to be OUR money

That's how I worked it with my wife. It's our money!

Edited August 16, 2011 by LINKS2K

[Guest Lester Weevils]

It has been said that most marital disputes involve money. If there is only one breadwinner then obviously money must be discussed (frequently). Am not saying bad about a one breadwinner strategy. It is an excellent strategy for those so inclined.

If there are two breadwinners then it is so much easier to have two checking accounts and rarely if ever discuss money. Then it only gets bad if one or both mates are spendaholics beyond their means.

Luckily wife is not a spendaholic and she earns her own money. Whatever she buys I don't care. She makes enough money to live on her own, but I make a little more and pay all the major bills except stuff she incurs such as her car payment. Unless things get tight in the future, I don't mind paying all the bills. She could probably do without me easier than the other way around, so it is that extra little perk for her to put up with me sharing the domicile. She never says anything about my frivolous purchases, and I return the favor.

I save but wife is a better saver so the extra money in her pocket is more effective than extra money in my pocket. One of these days "our" money may come more from her savings than my own.

[Stainless]

She get's what she want's, bottom line. Everyone's happy!

[Guest nicemac]

I have never understood the whole my money/ your money thing amongst married couples. Married=our money.

Happily married 23 years. During that time, my wife worked (outside the home) for a few of the early years but has not worked outside the home for the past 13 years. All of the income during the past 13 years has been mine. Money has never been handled or allocated differently during any of those 23 years.

[daddyo]

I just act like I have the same guns I have always had and she doesnt know the difference. Slowly make withdrawals from your account to get going.

THIS^^^^^^^^

It works, too!!! But you have to put your big boy pants on first.

[NRA]

I have never understood the whole my money/ your money thing amongst married couples. Married=our money.

Happily married 23 years. During that time, my wife worked (outside the home) for a few of the early years but has not worked outside the home for the past 13 years. All of the income during the past 13 years has been mine. Money has never been handled or allocated differently during any of those 23 years.

agree

[Links2k]

She get's what she want's, bottom line. Everyone's happy!

Sounds like a guy that has been married as long as I have.

[Guest db99wj]

I sulk until I get what I want.

I also throw in a 20, or a 100 into a my where I put my extra money to buy stuff that I don't need but want fund.

Right now, I don't do this much, but I do put in a little. We are working on paying off some bills and once that happens, we both will get more of the wants than just paying for the needs.

I did trade a car in for a Jeep Grand Cherokee without her knowing it, she was mad, I kept the Jeep.

I kept putting money away and bought my tires recently, she said "Your hobbies sure are expensive".

[Guest uofmeet]

My Wife likes guns. As long as we have everything taken care of, we can get more guns and ammo.