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Filter broke


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Every once in a while I have a thought that makes it out before my brain filters it...the other day in my local convenience store (Mayberry style) and guy I've known for 15yrs (not liked, rustled some of my cows,stolen tree stands, ect, ) asked me why I carried a gun (open carry 1911 that day) and I replied to protect defenseless people like you if someone comes in to shoot up the place..."sue" running the register just laughed, and said "you've probably done half this country wrong in some way, and he would still try to save your ass..."

Glad "sue" turned it positive for me, in turn I quickly turned it into a joke since I really came off as an ass...whether or not I would pee on the guy if his hair was on fire...

Your filter ever had spontaneous malfunction?
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The older I get, the less i filter my responses to complete idiots. In that guy's case, I may have just responded with "Thieves".

 

Heck yeah!!

 

"in case I catch somebody stealing my cows/tree stands...I also keep a shovel in my truck for burying the bodies" LOL

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Heck yeah!!
 
"in case I catch somebody stealing my cows/tree stands...I also keep a shovel in my truck for burying the bodies" LOL


Best part was, I set a trail cam watching my tree stands and caught him red handed. Got the stands back, after posting his pic on the "bragging board" in said local market! It's funny how they grew legs and came back about 5 days later.

Calves on the other hand, I'm sure they went strait to the sale barn...
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I'm a teacher so I have to be very careful about when my filter fails but fortunately the faculty lounge is right next to my classroom. About twice a year I walk out of class, go next door and let loose where the kids can't see or hear me.

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Guest PapaB

We're supposed to have a filter? :stunned:

 

You mean like in college when the VP of the school asked if we knew why he was going to change all the questions on the final exam. Three weeks before graduation and in front of the entire class I loudly said "because you're a bastard?"

 

Yes, I did graduate, 7th in my class.

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Guest Bonedaddy

The older I get, the less i filter my responses to complete idiots. In that guy's case, I may have just responded with "Thieves".

Uhhh.....yep. Plus, I like to keep'm worried, guessin' and amused. It's a great self defense mechanism.

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Guest Broomhead

My filter seems to always have an ID10T error when I'm around my wife. I try to filter everything, and I'm usually pretty successful at it, but beautiful women (like my wife ;) ) have always gotten me tongue tied.

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Guest Bonedaddy

Don't know 'bout that "self control" thang. I'd rather someone be "real" than not 'cause I don't like wastin' time and effort on BS. Self control is for anger issues and target practice. I just don't get butt hurt easily is all. Way too much of that out there, already.

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I hear people all of the time say "Oh I have no filter" and I respond with "What you don't have is any self control." But, sometimes reality is needed, like in the OP's situation!

Meh, I'm just an asshole. I'm ok with that. :D
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Guest Broomhead

Meh, I'm just an asshole. I'm ok with that. :D

 

Oh, I can be an asshole if the situation calls for it, I just try to be polite to everyone I meet first.

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My filter seems to always have an ID10T error when I'm around my wife. I try to filter everything, and I'm usually pretty successful at it, but beautiful women (like my wife ;) ) have always gotten me tongue tied.

 

Yeah, whole different ballgame regarding women.

 

Once I had to take the bus to Pittsburgh to pick up a truck, lady at the counter was a knockout, with eye-popping hooters, so the filter failed when I said, "A picket to Titsburg, please".

 

But the worst was when I was having breakfast with my wife, and I meant to say "Please pass the sugar, hon", but what came out was "YOU G****N BITCH YOU'VE RUINED MY F*****G LIFE!"

 

- OS

  • Like 8
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Yeah, whole different ballgame regarding women.

 

Once I had to take the bus to Pittsburgh to pick up a truck, lady at the counter was a knockout, with eye-popping hooters, so the filter failed when I said, "A picket to Titsburg, please".

 

But the worst was when I was having breakfast with my wife, and I meant to say "Please pass the sugar, hon", but what came out was "YOU G****N BITCH YOU'VE RUINED MY F*****G LIFE!"

 

- OS

:bowrofl:    GREATEST POST OF THE DAY....... :bowrofl:

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