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john455

seriously bad morning

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First of all let me say my mom has dementia, and after my step dad died last year I moved her in with my family to take care of her.

 Well at around 3 am I hear her in the living room crying so I get up to make sure she is ok, and when I open my bedroom door she looks up and points my .38 at me and pulls the trigger, talk about a crap your pants moment!!!!  She was looking for my sister as a baby and thought I had kidnapped her. Now luckily she didn't have time or didn't think to load the gun, but it could have been really bad.

 I keep my old .38 in my gun cabnet unloaded because I don't carry it very often anymore and the spare keys I keep hung on the wall, out of the reach of my 4yr old son and grandson, but it never entered my head that I needed to put them where she couldn't get them, although in hindsight I guess it should have. I just post this because like I said I never thought about her getting into my guns, so maybe if there is someone out there in a similar situation it will get them thinking before they wake up like I did this morning.

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Wow, glad you are ok.  Could have been much worse.  We want to think things like this wouldn't happen to any of us, but it does all of the time.  Today wasn't your day thank goodness.

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Good Lord! Glad things turned out the way they did. I am sure we have had this discussion but at what point do you think about taking firearms from an induvidual that has dementia or alztimers? My dad has been dealing with it for the last couple years, seems to be handeling it well. I know he has a few pistols in the house and just wonder if and when I will have to have that talk with him. Sorry don't want to Hi jack but thought I would bring it up.

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Good Lord! Glad things turned out the way they did. I am sure we have had this discussion but at what point do you think about taking firearms from an induvidual that has dementia or alztimers? My dad has been dealing with it for the last couple years, seems to be handeling it well. I know he has a few pistols in the house and just wonder if and when I will have to have that talk with him. Sorry don't want to Hi jack but thought I would bring it up.

My dads grand mother had the same issue...I can say from experience thats its better to have the conversation while they are able to have it. If you wait too long it might not even register. You cannot have the conversation too early but you can certainly have it too late.

Edited by tennesseetiger
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Very glad things didn't go south and no one was hurt. We learn by our mistakes and this mistake was a real learning experience. Again glad no one was hurt................. :up:

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Good Lord! Glad things turned out the way they did. I am sure we have had this discussion but at what point do you think about taking firearms from an induvidual that has dementia or alztimers? My dad has been dealing with it for the last couple years, seems to be handeling it well. I know he has a few pistols in the house and just wonder if and when I will have to have that talk with him. Sorry don't want to Hi jack but thought I would bring it up.

Well at that point I think you have to weigh the two sides. You want him to be able to protect himself but by keeping them is he putting himself and his family at greater risk? I would have the talk now before his condition gets worse. Trying to have it when they cannot really listen to reason won't do any good.

 

To the OP I'm glad you guys are all OK. Luckily some eye openers don't involve anyone getting hurt.

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Thanks God you are both ok. It's not easy to go thru this, I do fully understand.  I have a family member going thru it right now. And unfortunately, it only gets worse. 

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Wow! Scary! 

 

Glad you came out OK. 

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Dude that sucks. Before she passed my wife's grandma had dementia as well. Some of things that she did/said really made us worry about my in-laws safety.

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That's what I call a true "Come to Jesus" moment...wow! Glad nobody was hurt and that you didn't have it loaded.

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Glad you're okay, that's got to shake you up emotionally though. Dementia is a terrible disease, my grandmother kept having memories of the 1940's but couldn't remember us, it's terrible the way it attacks the mind, still glad you are okay.

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My grandmother who had dementia shot at the gas meter man once, fortunately he was cool.  We quietly took the 22 rifle away and the pistol away. 

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One of the worst parts of this is I apparently look just like my bio father who died along time ago and was an abusive alcoholic asshat, so I spend a lot of time on moms bad days convincing her I am not him and she doesn't have to be afraid of me.

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Sorry this isn't the place for that post, just tripping alittle today

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That sure would make for a bad start to the day. 

 

Dementia is nasty.  People who suffer from it can do some completely inexplicable, bizarre things.  Unfortunately it sounds like you're at the point of needing to treat your mom similar to the 4 yr old with regard to access to ways they may hurt themselves or others.  Kudos to you for taking her in and caring for her.  It's a tough row to hoe.

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Sorry this isn't the place for that post, just tripping alittle today


Good thoughts here....

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Is placing her in a facility that provides 24x7x365 medical care and supervisory attention possible or even in your plan?  I only ask because thankfully this time it was unloaded and happened to you, so you were able to keep the situation controlled and inside the family.

 

I would be worried about what happens if next time it's not unloaded and it's the postman, or a neighbor, or a neighbor's kid, or....

 

Sorry you're having to face this.  Getting older sure does suck sometimes.

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Wow, glad you're all ok. I watched my grandfather and still watching my grandmother suffer with it. My grandmother started showing signs of Alzheimer's about 11 years ago and is still struggling with it. My grandfather developed dementia at about the same time. It was incredibly tough when we all realized that we had to protect them (and us) from themselves. It was another tough time when we realized we couldn't provide the type of 24/7/365 care they had to have. Hang in there, and as tough as it is, think "baby proof" the house. My grandmother nearly burned the house down by putting laundry in the stove and turning it on. It's a sad, sad disease.

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One of the worst parts of this is I apparently look just like my bio father who died along time ago and was an abusive alcoholic asshat, so I spend a lot of time on moms bad days convincing her I am not him and she doesn't have to be afraid of me.

that certainly can make it worse...sorry you're having to deal with this. Im not sure if its in the cards or in the budget but if you can swing it you really might want to consider putting her in a place that can keep an eye on her 24/7...I know some family members usually get mad when terms like "nursing home" get thrown around but sometimes they really are for the best. Not always, but sometimes they are.

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Glad you are OK

 

Trust me, I think I speak for everyone, we would rather read about it here then on Channel 5.

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Guest drv2fst

A close friend of mine was on some drugs prescribed by the VA that made him crazy.  His wife brought me all his guns to keep until he got better.  I have never enjoyed giving up guns as much as I did the day he and his wife came to collect them.

 

PS.  I wouldn't let the VA treat a sunburn much less anything serious.

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Sorry you are dealing with such a traumatic situation. Hard on everyone involved.

One of the toughest decisions I ever had to make was replacing live rounds with dummy loads in my Dad's .38. I had pressure from other family members long before I finally did it.

I felt some guilt at taking away a mans right to protect his home, self and property. Especially the very person that had instilled the virtue in that right to me.

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